i got out of bed today with every intention on getting ready to go job hunting. but as i got out of the shower and sat there brushing my hair i found myself in tears. Today was the first time in almost a week that ive gotten out of bed to take care of myself. i found myself taking my computer into my room and watching movies all day and night. while everyone eles out there is working their jobs and taking care of their kids i find myself in bed crying all day. I dont know whats worse the fact that i have no job right now and cant support my daughter or the fact that i cant get myself out of bed to make her dinner. shes been out of school for two weeks for the holidays, and i wasnt even fine over the holidays, i tried to put on a smile for her and i tried to enjoy the time with her but i found myself falling even further and further into this dark hole that i cant seem to get out of. I have my mom go to the store for me for what ever needs i have or my daughter, and i sit in my room day in and day out i honestly cant remember the last time i had a real meal or even eat.. so its hard for me to even admit to this.. i want to just have a good day and not feel like im suffering anymore. and i cant even do that without tearing up. i break down when no one is around and put on this fake smile like everything is going to be A OKAY. but in the back of my mind i honestly dont know if everything is going to be okay… i take one step forward and fall two steps back. i know things could be alot worse then they really are and im thankful every day that i have the family that i have the kids that i have. but for some reason i cant get out of this depression.. i say im going to do something and i never follow thru with it. I never follow thru with anything anymore!!! gawd i hate this feeling inside of me… well thats it for now. gotta try and put on a happy face for everyone today…
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Rough evening….still trying to figure out this morning. **possible trigger**
delane1, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Anger, Sleep Disorders, 0
Last night was another ROLLER COASTER ride!!!! i can’t handle it. i was so close to doing something….final, last...
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ONLINE MINDFULNESS MEDITATION THERAPY FOR OVERCOMING ANXIETY & STRESS
pdmstrong, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, PTSD, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapy, 0
The single major cause of emotional suffering and stress in our lives comes from the accumulated habitual emotional reactions...
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First night away….at school
redhead20, , Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
First night here, "home". In my apartment for 4 currently only inhabited by me and a chinese girl named...
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Miserable
SH2004, , Depression, 2
So honestly, I just feel miserable and tired of pretending to be okay. I will talk on the phone...
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Sing Me To Sleep
Amelia64, , Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Medication, Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Therapist, 0
Things have been really hard. This past week I have struggled to even get out of bed and most...
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Trying this again
Verc, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Grief, Obesity, Psychosis, Relationships, Suicide, Therapist, 0
I created this profile nearly 2 years ago but never really did anything with it. I could rant about...
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Living with intrusive thoughts
Teee, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Stress, 5
Day after day, month after month, year after year I live with my intrusive thoughts. Some days are easier...
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'Atlas Shrugged': From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years
Elmsbandit, , Depression, Career, Religion, Self Esteem, 1
By STEPHEN MOORE Some years ago when I worked at the libertarian Cato Institute, we used to label any...
Having a shower was a good move! Have you seen a doctor or a therapist? If you haven't, you probably should.. But for your daughter.. She wouldnt want you being so down would she?
Hang in there.
– jac