Does anyone else find that no matter what obstacles you conquer and overcome there will always be someone else with their boot in your face pushing you back and saying no? Because I do. Since I was young I have always had ambitions of how I wanted my life to be. My family are not very well off, at all, and my immediate family (my sister and I in particular) would be the first in our line to have got a good education and got A levels, nevermind got into university, my sister has just graduated in fact. Then there was the problem of money, my dad was out of work for a year so I worked two jobs to help keep us going as well as doing my a levels and volunteering at an amateur theatre company. So I had got myself an education and money, but then age was the thing holding me back, I wasn't yet 18, so as I was still a child I didnt matter, and people couldnt take me seriously. Anywhere I went I was regarded as a teenager and nothing more and as such I MUST be doing drugs, stealing cars and smashing up derelict buildings for fun. If not, then I must be a spoilt "rich kid" teenager who spends half her life in abercrombie and fitch and the other half a combination of begging Daddy for more money and being fed grapes on a chaise longue. I then turned 18, and I thought people might take me seriously, at last! But no. Of course not, there is always someone with their foot in your face, so to speak. There will always be someone telling you what to do, trying to control you, to own you. I don't feel like I belong to myself anymore because I am not allowed this and not allowed that, despite the fact that I have worked just as hard as everyone else and earned it all myself. It's not that I am trying to be better than everyone else or that I think I deserve a break more than anyone, but it's the fact that no matter what I do I will never have control of my own self, because someone else always has the right to tell you what to do. Someone else, whether it be the government or a teacher or a parent or society in general, will always have control over you. I hate feeling like this because it just feels like your stuck in this plastic hamster ball and to get out you have to achieve certain things, but then having acheived those things the person in charge has said "No, you have to stay there. I have changed the rules." And because the status quo always lies in their favour we are defensless to do anything. I feel this is the true meaning of the statement F M L.


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