As I work on my scrapbook, I look at pictures of my maternal grandparents and my paternal great-grandma and feel sad and cheated I guess. My great-grandma, Nanny, passed away when I was 13 and living in Florida, she was in Georgia. I felt guilt that I wasn't there for several years after her passing but I came to understand that I couldn't have helped it.
As for my maternal grandpa, he passed when I was around 18 months old. I was the only one of his grandkids he got to meet and hold. I feel both blessed and a little cheated. My grandpa started a bond for me after I was born and I am the only grandchild of his to have one…my brother and cousin didn't get to be held by him…they didn't get to meet him or have pictures with him…I did. My grandpa always wanted a boy–he had my mom and my aunt, Diane. I was told he joked that if he had a boy, he'd have named it Adolph Wolfgang Fincke (Fincke being his last name).
Then my maternal grandma…one I have written several blogs on. She was so special to me and I always thought she'd get the chance to be a great-grandma (longevity was in her genes). I guess I expected her to live another 10 years…we all did I think.
For the past few days, I've been able to keep busy and keep my depression at bay…now as I sit and write and work on the scrapbook, I feel sad and cheated. I know I should count my blessings but I still can't help feel the feelings of bitterness and loss. The way my grandma's life ended, I wouldn't wish on anyone but then again we were lucky that she didn't have the chest pains and breathing problems that come with lung cancer…I'm not sure what else to say or write…
I'm alone at home for the time being. My parents went to see World War Z with Brad Pitt, a zombie movie. I think I've had my fill of zombies for a while. Walking Dead is enough for me lol My brother is driving to Tennessee. I asked him to bring me back a key chain. I think I want to start a collection lol I really hope me remembers.
Thanks for reading xxx