It’s been quite a struggle through the years. One thing after another. Watched the murder of a sibling and never had a home again. Throughout my adult life, I’ve been trying to pick up the peices and fit back into the norm of society after major trauma as a child and moving from place to place with different foster homes to eventually living homeless in ny at the age of 16. By the age of the 20 I had a decent job and was working hard with a place of my own, saving as much as I possibly could. I dedicated my life to making it fun and what i wanted it to be. Then I turned 23 and had everything I could have ever wanted. Custom built race car. 2 new harley Davidson’s and another sport bike and place to live. Then I got married and everything seemed to be going great. Then it hit me harder than anticipated. I married a woman with a child and added a lot of responsibility. Then my wife got pregnant and to get all the Bill’s paid and not be without utility or a place to live I had to sell everything I had spent time and effort building and buying. It’s been a years since I sold everything and the way in which things are going it looks like I wont ever have any of those things again until my late 50’s. Everyday I wake up take care of the family then go to sleep. I feel I have no time anymore, and that I’ve lost everything that I enjoyed in life. Im dead inside. It’s great knowing that I’m raising a family and that I’m important to others. I dont feel like myself anymore. Have all my dreams just collapsed. Am I now just a suburban dad. At the end of my life will i say that it was spent on others. Maybe I’m wrong for not only wanting to be a good dad. The anguish and turmoil of life now seems to have an ending with limited reward.
Missedthestartinggun, , Depression, Marriage & Family, Career, Child, PTSD, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1