So the meds are not working. I have a boyfriend but honestly I have no idea if he is part of the problem, or if my depression is messing up my perception. I have a few good hours or days followed by several where I can't imagine facing anything or anyone. I'm sad all the time and hearing about all the death in the news wretches me and I am filled with doom. I hate living with someone, yet feeling alone. My ED took over and has replaced other substances I abandoned in January of this year. I feel horrid in appearance. The apartment was “picked up” but not truly “clean” for about a month, but this past week, I summoned all I had and cleaned – thoroughly. I thought I would feel better after but it was short-lived. I can only convey myself in writing because when I feel like this, my words are either lost or stuck in my throat. I wrote a note using the advice from another site…I explained that I felt flat, needed to be held, and know it's the depression. I gave it to my boyfriend who says, “what's this” as though he didn't realize he should read it. I said nothing, but was silently frustrated. He read it…over an hour ago. I'm here. He is there…watching Eddie Griffin stand up comedy. My bills are behind because of compulsory spending/shopping but I was ready to get on track, but I lost mu budget sheet. The idea of re-doing another gives me knots in my stomach. I'm feeling like a failure. I hate my job and this LOA hasn't changed my mind. I tried job searches…I had an interview call back and had to lie in order to reschedule it. I guess all I needed to do was check tge email I was told would be sent on Friday, but I dreaded checking my inbox for fear of seeing something else to make me get upset. Well, I checked the email this morning…the interview was in 15 minutes and I had only been up for 10 minutes. I wish I could get it together. I am considering going for more “structured” help because I'm nearly ready to give up but know it shouldn't feel like this…
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As We Move Forward
Diana, , Depression, Anger, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child, Depression, Grief, Suicide, 1
I’ve never been the prettiest, or the smartest. I’ve been called the nicest, but too often it’s just an...
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My commentary on Ann Coulter
usaporkchops, , Depression, Questions, Religion, Sex Therapy, 0
Last week Ann Coulter made headlines again by insulting John Edwards with a sexual orentation slur on cable TV....
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I'm going to meander…
SorrowfulPoet, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Infidelity, 1
Think about this: Today will soon be yesterday That is a strange thought that ime moves past us–but that...
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i hate this because no one sees these
23skuhn, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, 6
i need someone to talk to im having bad thoughts pls
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Attacked
ZoeyGirl, , Depression, Adoption, Anger, Child, Parenting, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
So my best friend since high school basically attacked me via Facebook. Woke up to her message and it...
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Finally Have a Diagnosis
sadviolinist, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Psychosis, PTSD, Religion, 3
So I finally have my diagnosis in hand. I've read all that it says, and at the end it...
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Perks of being a wallflower
mentalhell, , Depression, Anger, Depression, Therapist, 0
Yeah so I guess I haven't been on here a while and i'm sorry to those who posted on...
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What's got me down this morning?!?
gomizzou, , Depression, Depression, 0
I don't know…I don't know…but I'm worried, because at the moment, I think I'm feeling the most down that...
go qhat your heart is telling you. im sorry but the best advice i can give
Thank you so much for your comments guys! I will try that Myers-Briggs thing – that seems interesting and definetly worth a try.