So the meds are not working. I have a boyfriend but honestly I have no idea if he is part of the problem, or if my depression is messing up my perception. I have a few good hours or days followed by several where I can't imagine facing anything or anyone. I'm sad all the time and hearing about all the death in the news wretches me and I am filled with doom. I hate living with someone, yet feeling alone. My ED took over and has replaced other substances I abandoned in January of this year. I feel horrid in appearance. The apartment was “picked up” but not truly “clean” for about a month, but this past week, I summoned all I had and cleaned – thoroughly. I thought I would feel better after but it was short-lived. I can only convey myself in writing because when I feel like this, my words are either lost or stuck in my throat. I wrote a note using the advice from another site…I explained that I felt flat, needed to be held, and know it's the depression. I gave it to my boyfriend who says, “what's this” as though he didn't realize he should read it. I said nothing, but was silently frustrated. He read it…over an hour ago. I'm here. He is there…watching Eddie Griffin stand up comedy. My bills are behind because of compulsory spending/shopping but I was ready to get on track, but I lost mu budget sheet. The idea of re-doing another gives me knots in my stomach. I'm feeling like a failure. I hate my job and this LOA hasn't changed my mind. I tried job searches…I had an interview call back and had to lie in order to reschedule it. I guess all I needed to do was check tge email I was told would be sent on Friday, but I dreaded checking my inbox for fear of seeing something else to make me get upset. Well, I checked the email this morning…the interview was in 15 minutes and I had only been up for 10 minutes. I wish I could get it together. I am considering going for more “structured” help because I'm nearly ready to give up but know it shouldn't feel like this…
-
I don't even know o.O
RebekkahJay, , Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 1
This is more of a rant. Because the person I usually rant to is the cause of this rant....
-
None
BD, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Stress, Therapy, 0
So tomorrow is the last day of the three weeks within which my dad was supposed to be given...
-
More Mom Stuff
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, 0
It's a gorgeous day outside, so I'm sitting on the back porch overlooking the pond. The temperature is right...
-
RIP tomD
Jamaicat, , Depression, Addiction, Depression, Grief, Medication, PTSD, Suicide, 3
I am deeply saddened to have to let my fellow depression tribe members that one of our closest friends...
-
I miss you..
Rubybear, , Depression, Grief, Relationships, 0
I dont know what this feeling is. Its been two weeks sence i changed my number. My dad has...
-
None
adara11, , Depression, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Therapy, 1
School has just began. The meds I ve been taking dont seem 2 be effective anymore (welbutrin 300mg). they...
-
Trying to be happy
StressKills, , Depression, Anxiety, Religion, Stress, 0
I have had a headache for days now, stress I guess. Someone told me to turn my problems over...
-
The Diary of Tracy Something
TracySomething, , Depression, 0
So, today went better than yesterday. The whole day was going really good until I got into last hour....
go qhat your heart is telling you. im sorry but the best advice i can give
Thank you so much for your comments guys! I will try that Myers-Briggs thing – that seems interesting and definetly worth a try.