My first blog and all I can think about is the stupid awful movie I saw that triggered the worst episode of OCD I've ever had. And my first really bad episode of very unwanted super scary thoughts. I wish I'd never seen that movie. I wish there was some operation that I could have that would zap those particular brain cells that are tainted with the memory of that movie – zap them out of my mind forever. I am scared of a movie. My mind relives the scariest scenes of that movie only substitute the people most precious to me. Again and again. At the worst possible times, too. It's like I'm a four year old again and scared out of my mind of JAWS.I wonder if I could sue the people who made that horrific film? I mean, they warn you at the theater that there are scenes from some movies that contain flashing lights – so watch out if you're prone to seizures. Why not warn people of scary as all get out movies. With a different rating perhaps ? Let's see, R is restricted (right?). X is dirty. How about just OCD with a cross over it. I guess there really are not enough people out there that would see the benefit of this.People can't understand what this is like. I guess I can't blame them. How can you make them understand how scared you are without making them scared? And I don't want anyone else to feel the way I do. I don't want anyone else to watch that movie because I am afraid they will be affected the same way I was. I am laughed at when I say this, but really, they can't see how the fear causes my mind to make up even scarier images and it's torturing me. Maybe they don't care as much as I do? Maybe I am just overly sensitive. I'm going to write a much more positive post next time.