I woke up sick this morning, It sucks, my love has been soo great. He's fetched me things and tried to cheer me up it didn't work but he tried. THough he does try to kiss me which …. mess with my head. I <3 him though so I deal and just remind him that i"m sick so he can't kiss me. It works for a while then he forgets and trries again. My hand sanitizer isn't doing the trick any more, it used to make me feel better but now it only gives me seconds not the minutes It used to and its worse when I'm sick. I don't want to touch anything thats not mine or that someone else Might touch. I fight the urge to wash my hands every time I touch my face or scratch my arm or any time its been more than five minutes since the last time I watshed my hands.

To make it worse I skipped my meds today, depression got to me and my mind told me, whats the use. Tomorrows going to be hellish because of it. The depression got to me because I still haven't recieved a call on a job yet and I absolutly hate being out of work. It drives me stir crazy not having productive things to do, to get closer to the few goals I have in life. But my goals are for another time, and another entry. Just figured i'd tell you about my day because talking to you guys gets me through, reminds me I'm not alone in this fight. That there are others who understand how my mind works.

See you tomorrow Guys,

PS… Hope that all is going well for you guys, I'll be checking your guys blogs tonight. is there any way to subscribe to blogs so I know when you post? let me know

5 Comments
  1. Piggy 13 years ago

    I am sorry you are ill.  Hopefully you will be better zippity quick.  As I was reading your blog, I wondered if latex gloves might make you feel better while you are sick.  I am more obsessive than compulsive, but there are times when I worry about contamination and I have to wear gloves.  Just an idea.  That might help your hands from getting chapped from washing and ease your mind about getting anyone sick,  And I hope you hear about the job soon.  I totally understand what you mean about not working.  Even when I take a week off for some vacation time by the end of the week I am SO ready to get back to my routine that I can't stand it.    Feel better soon!  \"\"

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  2. chez 13 years ago

    Sorry you'r not well but like Piggy say's about the latex gloves i find it works a little like you im all about contamination hand washing touching things other's have touched i have even used bleach to wash my hands before but anyway if you've not tries the gloves then give it a try it might help. Hope you feel better soon. Chez

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  3. jtrim 13 years ago

    My boyfriend and theripist think its a bad ide to wear gloves sets me back in my therapy 🙁 I wish though

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  4. chez 13 years ago

     I understand i suppose it's feeding the ocd giving in to it to make you feel better i never really thought of that anyway take care hope you feel better soon

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  5. Gmanninja 13 years ago

     feel better 

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