hello everyone,

i dont know where to start, im from peru, I find out i was positive 2 years ago.

My physical healt is great, no need for meds yet.

my mental health is another story, i hope i dont bored you with a little backround info but i feel its necesary.

my first depression was when i was 6 years old, i have lived with that ever since its a mix between anxaity depression and schizoid personality disorder. 6 years ago i was diagnosed with melanoma(i was living in australia at that point by myself) so i went through that alone, after that i didnt process it very well and went through a phase of working too much and doing drugs (pills and pot mostly). I moved to argentina to change careers and start studying pshycology and at some point i felt there was someting wrong whit me again, so i went to de doc thinking it was the melanoma that could reapeared but i found out i tested positive. i went trough a phase of anxaity atacks and depression and with help of my therapyst i end up moving back home to peru, to be with my family and friends.

for the first months it was great i felt happy and sorrounded by people who love me. i started a new buisness (something i regret every now and then).

but life in peru for hiv positive people isnt that easy, ive been to a few horrifing doctors, support groups are crazy bad. people arent well educated about the subject so dating is at least for me a lost cause at the moment.

so im on pills for sleeping,and for depression, cause i wanna kill my self. i have lost all perseption of what i want or im capable of. i dont see a future for myself.

i hope i can find something here, cause im running out of options.

thanks for reading at my rumbling, and sorry for the spelling.

saludos,

R