I went to see my physican today .hes been sending me letters since May .That he needed to see me .But due to the devil I finally got out of my life .I was so sick I was unable to make it .So today my daughter came with me .apparently in April my new Hiv Dr in toronto did a complete physical .and contacted my GP within a few days .the pap that they did was truly not good .and I was told today that in april it was miligant .well this is almost 9 months later .and my Dr was such a dick .I asked him listen if it was that serious instead of sending me letters why didn't you send me or set me up for treatment .in the last month i have went from 110 to as of today 86 pounds .So I guess that bastard not only ruined my life but will be the end of me .Now dont get me wrong I am not going down without a fight but for God sake what kind of Dr dosnt call you Asap and start treatment .I felt like we as Hiv people dont matter .and I am having a really hard time trying to wrap my head around that .I worked in the medical field for almost 25 yrs and I TRULY discusted to say the least . here were are over 30 yrs later and its like people that are not hiv positive dont care or shall .I say very little do .the world is so messed up .

He even had the nerve to say to me in front of my ddaughter .I guess I will see u in another 2 yrs than this strange look came over his face and he said oh well I guess not .Like he was happy about it I am still in total I dont know what I am feeling but I know that I am calling the board of physicans in the morning and Halco in toront and launching a complaint .to think that if he had just callled me almsot 9 months ago .mabye the outcome would of been different .I am trully in total shock .but to loose that much weight in less than 5 weeks I knew in my heart something was very wrong .I just feel that he didnt give a shit and as God is my witness i am not goiing to let him off the hoook come hell or high water .our lives are hard enough without them knowing my history and not even phoning me its not like the first time I have been down this road I am so so sorry I think th at I am in shock .And I find putting down what I feel helps me to try and deal with this crap god bless an take care all

love you all god bless

lannamarie

6 Comments
  1. Author
    TheTruth1997 7 years ago

    I’m so sorry sweetie….you have every right to feel the way you do…every right in the world.

    I wish I knew something more to say to help ease your pain…:(but after reading your blog…it just sickens me so……You get him girl!  🙂

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    lannamarie 7 years ago

    hi Truth  thank you so so  much for your words of encouragment .And sweetie you can bet on me getting him .before I leave this earth .hes going to hate me .I am just so sick of medical professionals treating us .As though were Aliens its so pathetic .After this long I feel like we live in the dark ages nothings changed .Everyone whos fought and died for our accepetence as human beings .its truly a discrace to there memory it truly sickens me to the deapths of my soul .I am ashamed to say that I worked in the medical profession .but so many of them now they have no compassion or empathy its only a pay check .I loved taking care of ppl .I miss it so much .when I got sick and was unable to work anylonger .My heart was truly broke .palitive care I did that for 15 yrs .and i got so attached to all my patients it truly took a piece of my heart everytime I lost a patient 

    GOD BLESS AND THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BUT i AM A VERY STUBORN WOMAN and will not out without the fight of my life my doc and my Aso said to me when i got the news your a survivor you have been threw this a few times but t here is no excuse for him knowing my history and not immediatelly .getting me in for treatment .being french and Italian decent i might be little but you bet .i am very fisty lol well thats one thing i have going for me take care and god bless and hope to talk to u soon 

     

    lannamarie 

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    lannamarie 7 years ago

    I truly appericate your honesty .But if this is how the world is operating since I have worked in the medical field than this world is truly truly broken and at this point totally unfixable .its still sickining .to say the least .Our heath minister here in Ontario as of June this yr cut back the budget over 1 billion dollars just for ppl living in ontario Canada .all it is its greed on there part .really and truly so I would really and truly love to know what happened to all the money .as usual no explanation of where it went or what they did with it !!!!!!!!! hmmmmmmm makes your mind do a double take for sure .the world as we know it has gone to hell for sure 

     

    God bless you all 

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    lannamarie 7 years ago

    Amen to that tecknique .I think that if I didnt have this site to vent .And for surpport well I truly dont know where I would be .but I totally agree with you 100% .Its so unfortunate that the Goverment and Dr's have taken that attitude .that we are expendable .I know for sure if I had of known 22 yrs ago that the world was going to get this way .I would have never ever brought my 2 kids who are my life and my whole world into the world .Its truly discusting how things have gotten .Its as though people have stopped being compationate and caring about there fellow man .It truly is discusting take care and god bless and thank you so much for your words 

     

    lannamarie 

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    kmg1947 7 years ago

    Well I love you and here praying for you. It's time to get a new Dr as well as continuing with working on you. I love a son and an aunt who is just like you HIV and NO I don't see HIV I see 2 people whom I love dearly and would die for if I had too. You stay focused, stay encouraged, and know that there are hiv negative people out here who love you regardless. My son also changed DR's. He had to go thru the entire rigomol of setting up appts for adap, filling out tons of paper work to get his medicine, and he had to take a leave at work, as his depression had gotten off the top. At the end of the day you do what you have to do for that peace within. It will do you wonders. His lease on his apartment was up and he moved back in with me temporarily, and I am so glad. My handsome son has went from 109lbs to 118lbs. I laughed at him this morning because he is struggling with trying to button his shirts as they are getting tight. I just love to see him gain weight and smiling. It does wonder for my mind and heart. I pray you find another DR that cares and is concerned about you as a individual. My sons new DR OMG he is so nice. Hang in there, light is at the end of the tunnel for you and your daughter.

     

    GOD BLESS YOU

    KMG

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    kglanz40 7 years ago

    i live in ohio and i can honestly say that i don't like my hiv doc, he doesn't give a rat's behind in you as a person, just your numbers. if they are bad then you did something wrong, if they are good they can be better. there is no encouragement from him and no compassion whatsoever. i can't change to another one because this is the only infectious disease office around my area and i now moved farther away from the hospital. he thinks just because your numbers are good you are supposed to just go on with your day, it is not so. i still battle a lot of things on a daily basis and he just doesn'st get it, to the point i don't even tell him about anything anymore. there is no point to, he won't listen anyway. i really feel like i am battling this alone, i am glad i have here to come to so i know that i am not alone in this, but can be very upsetting. good luck to you.

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