I’m not sure how to begin this, or even what to say. Like I think, many of us come from fucked up backgrounds. Childhood filled with pain and torment. All the things that brought me to this point, leading me down the path I am now walking. As a little girl, I was taught to be seductive, how to innocently flirt to get guys to do things for me. Flirting with a repair guy at the house, stuff like that. I can remember one time when I was maybe in 4th grade, my mom and her b/f took me to the beach. It was hot and I wanted some water. My mom pointed to the ocean and said drink as much as you want. She then told me to go play or look around, just get lost so she and her b/f can chill. I found a guy sitting by himself, just enjoying the day, so I walked up and asked him if he would put sunscreen on my back since I can’t reach and I will put some on my front. He was all like…ok…looking around like he was being set up. I acted all stupid and started putting the lotion on my stomach and legs and arms. Being young, stupid and innocent, I pulled my top off so the straps wouldn’t get in the way. After all, who looks at 8 or 9 year olds like that. I asked him if he wanted lotion on his back and he said sure. So I did, not in a bad or nasty way, I didn’t touch him down there but his excitement was showing. I thanked him and said if I had the money, I would go buy you a big drink for helping me, you are so nice. I hugged him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. So he said…well let me buy you one for being so nice and for talking with me.
So I wonder, is it any surprise I started escorting? My first choice was adult films, but that dream died, a horrible death…I was a colossal failure. Escorting came along and well, it’s what I do now. A couple of weeks ago, my wonderful mom, called me a useless cheap ass slut. I just told her I am what you made me…and for your info…I may be a slut..but I definitely am not cheap. She has convinced me to never ever have kids. Let this DNA gene pool dry up and die with me.
I’ve been meditating when I’m on my morning runs…and I’m finding things are kinda getting better for me. Some job offers, and a new connection from tonight for more clients…Maybe god is starting to look out for me. More on my new potential clients and why I’m excited for this chance.