Sometimes I don't feel like I'm strong enough. Strong enough to forget the pain I've felt for all these years. Strong enough to overcome the obstacles that stand in my way. Strong enough to forgive not only those who have hurt me in my life, but to forgive myself as well for all of the pain I have caused for myself and for others. Sometimes I wonder if I really am strong enough to take a stand and tell the world everything I have kept hidden away deep within myself.
I've never been the kind of person who could ask for help without contemplating whether or not I should ask, first. I don't really like to ask for much of anything, honestly. I'm asking now, however, for just one more chance to start over. Just one more chance to try to redeem myself and show those whom I love and care for that I can be a better person. I want to be strong not for those around me, but for myself and I'm asking for one more chance to prove that I can be.
To prove that I can make a better life for myself. To prove that, though my actions may show differently, my intentions are true. I just want one more chance to change my ways for myself rather than for anyone else. I'm asking for forgiveness and the chance to be strong enough to forgive others. Just one more chance to heal myself from the inside out and be the person that, deep down, I know that I can be. All I'm asking for is one more chance to try a little harder.
And if for some reason I do not succeed, I will not let myself stop trying. I will not allow myself to give up on myself again. I will not allow myself to run from my fears and insecurities again. Instead, I will face them courageously and I will tell myself that I am strong enough. Strong enough to love me enough to let go of the pain. Strong enough to tell the world that I will not allow myself to be afraid anymore. Strong enough to know that, even when I feel differently, I am beautiful.
I will tell myself to shoot for the stars because the sky is my limit. I will tell myself that I am strong and that I can succeed…that I will succeed. And when I feel the tears fall from my eyes, I will not allow myself to feel as though I am weak, but instead, I will know that I am strong enough to show my emotions because I am only human. So I am asking for one more chance to be strong enough for me. I'm asking for just one more chance to fight for what I believe. To fight for what I am not ready to let go of, for myself.
One more chance to show that I am and can be more than just words and promises. More than just hopeful, but willing to be a better person than I have shown others that I am. Willing to learn to let go of the past and move forward in life. Willing to learn to trust completely rather than theoretically. I am willing to learn to forgive wholeheartedly instead of half way. To accept myself and learn to accept others as well. I want to show the world that, beneath the insecurities and the fears, I am strong. I am brave enough to start again and learn to let go.
I'm not asking for a miracle, and I'm not asking for a new life to be handed to me. I'm only asking for just one more chance to work towards creating a new and better life for myself. A chance to prove that I a, not a failure, that I can succeed. That I can do more than make an empty promise. That I can work towards a brighter and more hopeful and fulfilling future for myself. I just want one more chance to spend less time helping others and more time helping myself instead, so that I can more forward with my life. A chance to spend less time trying to please everyone else around me and more time on myself.
To make myself happy so that I can share that happiness with someone else. I want to show that I am willing to love wholeheartedly, to be more supportive and considerate. I want to show who I really am, who I can be instead of who I don't want to be. Just one more chance, that's all I'm asking for…to heal myself from the inside out so I can become the person that I want to be because I am strong enough to do that for myself.
I am strong enough