An open letter to the people who’ve hurt me this year. It’s all I can say openly without judgement or question.

To my cousins and supposed best friend- I loved you and you destroyed me. You cut open my issues with abandonment and trust, cut them open and dug in salt. You left me sitting in that restaurant feeling smaller than a pin. You don’t even realize you’ve done anything wrong, you think everything is okay. You all went on to have one of the best years of your life. Dream boyfriends, goals attained, dream children. What happened to me? What did you do to me? I fell apart, angry and broken. Parties detest me, I have post traumatic dreams that cause me to lose sleep. My biggest fear is to be alone and it’s only been inflated. I can’t even think to trust anyone even thought my sister says I should find someone to date. I can’t see the good in people I now expect the worst. I expect people not to give a damn because you sure as hell didn’t. You destroyed me and you don’t even care. I was disposable to you virtually nothing. I don’t know how to cope with this. How could do this to me after I was there for everything? I took so much crap for choosing to be an author from other family members and you let me believe you were different. You’re all the same, I knew I was better off alone. It takes so much to function like a person. Every day is a new struggle and you go on with your lives not struggling. Some judge me because they think there a time little to healing. Will I ever trust again? As of now I don’t think can. You ripped something out of me I might never get back.!