So…I guess…Mmm…I’m just gonna be flat out honest, okay? Life is f*****! I hate how people will look at a person and be so pervy like “hey, you’re hot”, just because I’m thick and look female and how people assume I enjoy wearing pink! And make-up! Don’t even get me started on the f****** makeup!!! Just because I’m white and have a common white girl name and enjoy coffee in no way means I am strictly female! Assumptions, dude. They piss me off. I want to reply “I’m f****** bi and pretty sure I’m both genders, okay?!!”, but I don’t and stay quiet. I suppose this whole thing started at 14. I had been in a temporary living space and there was this one chick. I don’t even remember her features or anything, but I just remember how bad I had it for her. And it confused me so greatly…I was like “okay. I like a girl. I like. A girl. Is this even right?” I never did anything, but I did tell her about it. All I received was a flat “I hear that a lot” and it was never spoken of again. I had told Mom about it before I had told the girl and was asked “how do you know you like her? How do you know what love is?” I was shut down…So, after that, I went through this whole “what if I was I guy?” phase. “Would that change anything?” This s#!t also confused me, so I didn’t know what to do. I never spoke a word about it to anyone. Speed up a bit. 17. New place, same feelings. I had kinda dropped the guy thing, but it still stayed in the back of my mind. I had done my best to make it seem like a straight female, but I’m not quite sure how it was portrayed. I hated lying to people, but I didn’t know how I was gonna say it without offending them. I mean, I had friends for once! I didn’t want to lose them! They’re straight and Christian, for crying out loud (nothing against Christians)! I found of girl and started talking to her. She seemed like the type I could trust to say things I wouldn’t normally say out loud. And, I liked her, too. So…I told her and she said she liked me back. I-I feel like when I’m with her, I’m in an entirely different universe. I feel like I can fly and that the whole experience of the excitement cheers me up. Genuinely. It’s really difficult to feel…but I like it. Most of the time, I’m numb or depressed or anxious, but the happiness is nice for a change. I started accepting the whole LGBTQ thing. I knew if Mom ever found out, she’d be so angry. Or disown me more than she already has. I know I’m a troubled human, but I don’t want to be treated like a Neanderthal, you know? I was still considering the guy thing. The girl moved away, but we still talk over e-mail. Later, I met someone who was gender fluid. I thought to myself “that’s possible?” Then, I started considering it being a part of myself. I looked around for info and I’m STILL figuring it out currently. I think it might be the case, but I don’t know for certain. I accidentally told my guardians about both and they seem extremely confused. They want me to talk to my therapist, but she’s straight AF, so what the hell am I gonna do, you know? So… that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. I don’t feel like I’m completely understood and I’m in a lot of pain. Any advice would help! Pisces signing out.
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I have no idea what to call this story…
5am1, , LGBT, Anxiety, Career, Child, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Questions, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
*Warning* This maybe triggering to some people. I also have bad grammar. Carter awoke in a cold sweat, gasping...
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About me
jon80, , LGBT, Career, Child, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, 0
I was born on 15th January 1980, and, was educated to university level. I live in a bedroom and my...
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Call out to cloudysun69 (MAY TRIGGER PEOPLE) ( I HAVE MOST OF THE PROOF ASK IF WANT TO SEE)
jeanjaymayspring, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, 2
Hello, This is is a call out to cloudysun69 and i admit I’m in fault as much is cloudysun69...
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Later in life transition (ftm)
SeanThomas, , LGBT, Child, 2
Since I was a small child I knew I was a boy. The world has worked long and hard...
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Lets Keep This Sweet
KaeClarkz, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, 2
Look..its not that I hate you I jus love you so much I hate myself I fell too hard...
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Coming out
wyinter, , Anxiety, LGBT, Anxiety, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, 2
Hey guys… So…… I am Pangender and A poly pansexual *Exhales* That was really hard for me to say...
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Some changes are coming, I better get buckled in tight!
Iris.Dar, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Teens, Uncategorized, Anxiety, 3
My mind is reeling, Saying ‘yes” when they asked me out out was a big step for me! So...
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Secound one
CopicRozz, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, 0
Wasup!!! I am so excited about 27th. Why? because its my 31st. I know you may or may not...
Honestly just follow your heart and do what you want to do. It’s 2019 for crying out loud if you parents or anyone else can’t accept being bi is okay by now then I don’t know what to say. As a Christian myself bi straight asexual whatever! At the end of the day we are all humans and we all bleed the same color and have the same organs we need to end this stupidty with guys with girls only and let people be happy with whoever they want to be with. We have way bogger issues on our hand… jeez
So Please please just go be happy and do what you want to do and follow your heart and I know it’s not that simple but dont change for anyone please
But I’m sure you already knew all of this and you know exactly what you want, so I
Think my job is done here
Jason out
Thanks, I appreciate it.