I honestly can’t even believe I’m writing a blog post about coming out of the closet. Every interaction I’ve had since I’ve known that I was gay, I did my best to avoid any conversation that centered on dating or sexuality and today, here I am freaking uploading a picture of my face on a LGBT forum! Talk about taking steps, baby!
I’m terrified but I feel sort of safe here. I found my tribe, I guess. I don’t even know why I started this draft but I figured it’d do me some good to express what I’m feeling. I took my first step to coming out a few days ago and got me one of them fancy counselors and she suggested I hop on some LGBT groups to talk to the community. I’m pretty much terrified of telling my friends and family but this lie can’t go on forever. I don’t know too many people from the LGBT community so I’m hoping to make some friends here and get some help, advice, whatever they can give.
I’ve been single all of my life or as I like to call it, just super independent, so reaching out to other people or being vulnerable in front of strangers isn’t really my thing. But 2020 has me in a “F**k it” mode and after 33 years, my ass is done hanging out with moths and ready to come out of this dusty ass closet.
Religion played a big part in my life growing up. Not anymore but my family still clings to the Bible and of course, all of the bad shiz it says (or really, doesn’t say) about homosexuality. BUT, I don’t care anymore. It’s time to live my life and if they don’t accept me for who I am, then it’s good riddance. There may be a whole lot of darkness out there right now but this little gay light of mine, I’m gonna this bitch shine!
I have the phone number of a friend of a friend who is a lesbian and I’m going to see if she’d be okay with chatting with me about her experience. I’m a little nervous because she’s close friends with my friend and I don’t feel comfortable with that friend knowing just yet. BUT, I also have really bad trust issues and maybe this can be a “two birds, one stone” kind of scenario and go for broke. I guess I’ll just have to find out.