I honestly can’t even believe I’m writing a blog post about coming out of the closet. Every interaction I’ve had since I’ve known that I was gay, I did my best to avoid any conversation that centered on dating or sexuality and today, here I am freaking uploading a picture of my face on a LGBT forum! Talk about taking steps, baby!

I’m terrified but I feel sort of safe here. I found my tribe, I guess. I don’t even know why I started this draft but I figured it’d do me some good to express what I’m feeling. I took my first step to coming out a few days ago and got me one of them fancy counselors and she suggested I hop on some LGBT groups to talk to the community.  I’m pretty much terrified of telling my friends and family but this lie can’t go on forever. I don’t know too many people from the LGBT community so I’m hoping to make some friends here and get some help, advice, whatever they can give.

I’ve been single all of my life or as I like to call it, just super independent, so reaching out to other people or being vulnerable in front of strangers isn’t really my thing. But 2020 has me in a “F**k it” mode and after 33 years, my ass is done hanging out with moths and ready to come out of this dusty ass closet.

Religion played a big part in my life growing up. Not anymore but my family still clings to the Bible and of course, all of the bad shiz it says (or really, doesn’t say) about homosexuality. BUT, I don’t care anymore. It’s time to live my life and if they don’t accept me for who I am, then it’s good riddance. There may be a whole lot of darkness out there right now but this little gay light of mine, I’m gonna this bitch shine!

I have the phone number of a friend of a friend who is a lesbian and I’m going to see if she’d be okay with chatting with me about her experience. I’m a little nervous because she’s close friends with my friend and I don’t feel comfortable with that friend knowing just yet. BUT, I also have really bad trust issues and maybe this can be a “two birds, one stone” kind of scenario and go for broke. I guess I’ll just have to find out.

2 Comments
  1. cupcakes76 6 months ago

    Im certainly not a therapist or anything, but if i was, i’d say to
    1. find lgbtq ppl where you are (which i know you have already been doing) and if they’ve come out, find out what helped them and if not, support each other in coming out together
    2. ask the ppl ur close to about theyre opinion about lgbtq ppl, and privately come out to anyone that is trustworthy and supportive.
    Also, im glad u find this site bc everyone’s very supportive. Even if coming out doesnt go as planned/something bad happened and you just need to talk/you’re just feeling down, you can always know you can go here and talk things out, and everyone will give you the courage to push on and get through life day by day.
    Im glad you have the phone number of your friend’s friend, i would suggest getting to know her better before coming out to her.

    All in all, the main point of this is that i personally think you should wait before you come out, but know that you WILL come out and be prepared for it.

    I hope you have a good day, be happy, and dont let anything stop you from being who u are!
    Luv ya❤❤

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  2. madmax3000 6 months ago

    I’m glad your thinking about coming out, that’s really great and I’m very happy for you! I’m 23 and I think I’m Bisexual, pretty sure, mostly sure lol. This right here is as close to telling anyone about it that I’ve ever come lol. I think Ill let a little bit of my gay light shine as well lol. That gave me a good laugh. I’ve heard my parents say anti gay stuff, there not homophobic, just kind of stupid. so I’m not very worried about telling them, I just don’t wan’t to deal with it right now. Everyone on my moms side of the family is Jehovah’s Witness, I don’t like any of them, I REALLY DON’T, most judgemental, boring, two faced superfical assholes Ive ever met in my life. They treated me like a bastard child growing up, only tolerating my unholy presence and pretending to be nice to me because thats what their church taught them to do to family who isnt “baptized”. Really, thats what they do, thier told to keep family at arms length, close, not too close as a way to tempt them into joining there stupid cult! Our relationship dynamic is more like old neighbors who have just run into eachother in another state, now they visit once every 6 months like its some kind of civic duty. I think it would be nice to tell them I’m Bi so I can see the look of disgust on there face before I tell them what I really think of them. Then Ill tell them all to f**k off because I don’t want anything to do with those creepy f**k bags anyways lol. Maybe I can get a multi Skype video call going while I do that s**t lol? I really like guys and I think when I start dating I’d prefer to date a guy. Yes, a cute latino guy. He must like video games. These are my standards lol. But I think that’s a long ways off taking into consideration this mother f**cking c**k blocking pandemic that’s going on lol. I wish you luck on your journey friend, I’m still just planning mine. Your post was an inspiration to me and I really appreciate you sharing. i think I would also like to start talking to people online and making friends in my area. I just signed up to this website today as a first step towards seeking treatment for my social anxiety, didn’t even think about this. Your post and another girls post combined has made my day, I feel happy and I feel like its okay to be who I am in front of other people for the first time in a while. Thank you so much 🙂 It was also nice venting about my bulls**t cult family that has been dead to me for years. I would really like to officially cut ties to f**k baskets once and for all. No one should ever tolerate toxic a*ss hats in there life EVER.

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