As you all know I have lost two sisters one in 2020 and one a few years ago. I need to get these stories out of my head.
I first lost my twin, my better half, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my human diary, my sunshine when my days were cloudy. So it was a normal Tuesday and I was giving her a makeover (cause she wanted one). I could tell she wasn’t okay but I didn’t recognize it well. She said she needed to use the restroom. So I paused with the makeup. I waited for her. I was cleaning some of my brushes when I heard a gunshot. I ran to the bathroom and started crying. I held Ella as she died. When she died, I screamed so loud my neighbor down the street heard me. I loved her so much.
I lost my other sister in 2020. She was a cheerleader, and very popular. But I knew she was depressed. So I kept my eye on her and I always checked up on her every second of the day. Because I didn’t want to lose another sister. I was doing homework and we were home alone again. She was helping me, she was in a grade higher than me. So she should have graduated this year. So she was helping me with homework. She was so smart. She helped me with all my homework no matter what she had to do that night. So she was helping me with chemistry and she said she needed to get up and stretch her legs out cause they were falling asleep. So I waited for her. As I was finishing typing I heard a gunshot. I ran so fast outside. I did the same thing that I did with Ella. I didn’t have a phone and her phone was dead. So I screamed so loud the neighbors heard me.
From the day Ella died, I started building up walls. When Luna died, I told myself to never get attached to anyone, keep my walls up, and never let my guard down no matter what.
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What a terrible thing to go through twice. My heart breaks for you, but you are not alone. Maybe time will heal your pain a little.