Hey! My name is Maggie. I’ve been struggling with depression since i was maybe 5 or 6 years old, I’ve said these exact words to my Parents when I was 5 “when I’m old enough to make the choice I’m not gonna be here anymore and be in the sky” I said that when I was so young and now lets fast forward to grade 5 I started to get “bullied” not even knowing I was being bullied and being used by two girls they would make fun of me saying I’m a waste of air and space that I’m ugly and that I should kill myself then they would apologies and me being me and wanting friends I always accepted this kept happening and maybe 3 I was in my bathtub just ready to end it all, but I kept stopping myself because of my baby cousins and my older sister so I stuck to cutting until all I could see was red on my arms and legs, I did this for years but when my shirt slid up and those girls saw they would saying I was doing it for attention when I only wore long sleeves. In grade 8 I finally got real friends but I was still cutting and I was taking photos no one at any age or at all especially at the age of 12 because I hated my body because I wasn’t as skinny as I was before. Now lets go to grade 9 I started taking those photos again and cutting got my phone away and became suicidal for I don’t even know many times in my life so I joined this site started talking to this guy. He asked me to talk because he was hurting himself but I wasn’t enough to get him to stop from committing suicide, and I got a message from his sister saying what happened and I soon found out I was his special person and he wrote about me saying I made feel cared for in his last days, and he said in his note to stay strong and keep fighting he’s now the main reason I’m still alive right now. I hope this helps someone out their who is also struggling and if you ever need to talk and I mean ever just message me I will never judge because I know first hand who its sucks.
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I just want it to stop, I’m still not the same after his death and I couldn’t even go to his funeral because I live in a different country then him 🙁