Started my new job 3 weeks ago. My internet went down and I had to get 5g now. My dad helped me out. I have not posted in a while. I am still trying to find a lawyer about my case again. My parents confronted me a being a lesbian I could not tell them the truth yet. I still show my pride though.  My kids confronted me also and they still won’t talk to me either. I look to the survivors of Rainn now also and they heal. I stopped trying to call me kids to give them a break. My son and my rapist of a husband just came out her last month and scared the shit out of me. I lost my voice again. I was in shock. I wrote my son a letter so he would have it went he got home. My doctor decreased one of my medications but increased the one for my nightmares. My mother is trying to get in touch with my daughter now to talk about horses again. I just went to the racetrack with my family last Sunday and placed small bets and won. My counselor thinks I should ride a horse again like I did when I was a child. I just have to wait for it since the lessons cost money now. I have to get tires for my car. I have it on my idea board though with my hours that I work from home outside my door so my dad can see it also.