Okay, so I’ve been struggling with Intrusive thoughts which have made me feel not in control of my body. I went to a a friend to ask for help, more so to ask for a place to rant. After ranting for so long, they wanted me to get help from someone. That’s when I’d gone to the suicide hotline that brought me here. Now that i’m here, I feel a bit lifted from this dark place of depression. Yet, I still feel captured by this overwhelming sense confusion and helplessness. I know talking to someone won’t get rid of the intrusive thoughts. But, I thought it might calm them maybe? I don’t know. I’ve always wondered what people who don’t go through this feel like. I wonder if I will ever be mentally stable enough to be like them. “Normal” if you will. My mom doesn’t make it any better. She always refers to me as lazy, like my dad. He’s not the greatest but at least he supports me to some extent I guess. All I’ve ever wanted was to be understood, listened too. But I could never get the simplest things out of people. The ones who are supposed to love me and be there for me. I think this community is helping me. But then again I still feel like something is wrong. Maybe I expected too much. I always expect others to see my point of view. But I supposed I’ve been too optimistic with people. I really hope I can find some time for myself to reevaluate my mental stability and get checked out by a licensed professional, instead of having to deal with it myself. Maybe I’ll even get a girlfriend and settle down in a home fit for two people, or even have kids. Probably not through I’m not really fond of kids haha. If I find the right girl, I’ll decide then.
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Looking for a way Out
x10122007, , Depression, ADHD, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Eating Disorder, Grief, Infidelity, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Obesity, OCD, Psychosis, Relationships, 1
My boyfriend’s homelife isn’t the greatest. He has an older sister and four younger brothers and of the six...
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Venting
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Listen Up, So it’s been awhile I mean over 5yrs since I have posted or even been one here....
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F’ing A!
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So today I had to take my foster dog to get spayed. I got lost and was on 7th...
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Dead inside
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It’s been quite a struggle through the years. One thing after another. Watched the murder of a sibling and...
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Oh why
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its 8 am,…now down to the very last day of my one week vacation, which i didnt enjoy due...
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Steps In Any Direction
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The thing about running, is that its a form of a therapy for me. The first mile or two...
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The story you tell yourself
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I was supposed to continue writing today but I got distracted. It might not be the best time to...
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Unloading my brother
Crimson_Dynamo, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Child, Depression, Grief, Relationships, Self Esteem, 2
I am not ready yet to continue on the subject of my mother, I find another family member needs...
Hi Toby, in my experience’s Ive found that I get more out of a conversation / relationship when I am up front about what I am looking for. Hopefully, If they are not able to help you (the way you think you need help) they will know of someone who can. I know it can be hard to open up and share personal thoughts or concerns, but the more you can honestly talk about, the better help you may get..
Sending hope and hugs, Iris