My name is Alicia and I was diagnosed with depression back in 2014-2015. And there are days that I don’t want to exist. Or days where I simply don’t want anyone to know who I am or what I’ve been through. When you look at my childhood you would think how could someone as happy as you are and as gifted as you are turned out to have depression?. Well that all started when things started to go left in my life and I had to realize that the things that I seen growing up weren’t things I should’ve seen as a child. I try to bring joy and happiness to everyone that I encounter sometimes I end up letting them down. I feel like I love myself down but there are better days than others. I’ve always been the person that was always alone I never had real friends growing up never had friends.. I realize more and more as I get older that the only person I have is myself there’s some times where I wish I never was alive I used to feel like this when I was a child but I was always told it was wrong don’t do it it’s a sin. And that’s was stuck with me in my head this whole time which was the reason why I never did it and then I was told I was stronger than that because they’re a better day than others.
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“If you fail me, please don''t fail me, now.” Mason Jennings, “Killer''s Creek”
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Hi there Alicia, thank you for sharing this vulnerable post that is very courageous on your part. Your situation sounds like it would be extremely difficult. You mentioned that you try to bring joy to those around you, even despite your trials in life, and I find that inspiring! I hope that you continue to be a light to others. On here you are not alone, and I hope you encounter people in your future who love you for you!
Hi Alicia, thank you so much for sharing on here. Vulnerability can be hard and you are very brave. Being told that feeling depressed or not wanting to be here was a sin must have been extremely difficult growing up. It is incredible that you make time and space to be a bright spot for others. Remember to give the love you give to others to yourself as well.
Thank you everyone please be with me in this time of needing love and people. I’ll continue my journey as I tell my story. 🙁
I hide my pain well. And I honestly am not happy here.