I'm guessing i've always had depression but i never let it get to me as im getting older its getting worse each day. I thought my life was complete when i found my prince charming i was finally smileing and didt feel depressed. 1 month in the relationship we wanted to live with each other we couldnt be apart from each other and somthing happend where it seperated for 8 months we talked everyday, (all day all night) most days. I started to get nervous i kept thinking in my head he is in Puerto rico there are somany girls there who knows what he did that he has kept from me. I really didt care as long as he was mine it made me happy. After 8 months i didt stop until he was close to me. We were finally together i was even more happy but i notice everytime im happy somthing always messes it up. Not even 1 month together i got fired and kick out of my apartment in the same day. And i felt like a failure to him and just stopped being happy i couldnt help it he told me it happens to everyone in this world what he dosent know is i suffer with depression vary badly. so my depression got worse once i moved back in with my parents and have been depresed since. Im always bitching and moping about somthing he says and he wants to leave me if i dont change. Ive been gaining ALOT of weight he tells me hes not attracted to me no more he wants me to lose it. Arent you suppose to love your other half no matter what. I think it was nothing but lie with him he told me he wanted to marrie me and have kids with me it change once we moved in with my parents. he dosent touch me really dont look at me calls me all kinds of names and just treats me like shit its not me saying this because of my depression but it really is happening and he just dosent understand it just going to get worse if he contiune's this. He dosent listen and our relationship is just over with he has this excuse that he wants to move in with his sister to help her out but i really think he wants to get away from me. i fell like if that what you want go right ahead and do it you dont want a future with me so whats the point . OH AND ANOTHER THING!!!!!!! since he got his cell phone he just been avoiding me textinginappropriate texts to a certain female which i think its just to disrespectful. he told me dont look at it its just hurting you…man FUCK YOU if you know ur wrong for texting it and your with me respect me and dont text shit at all thatsinappropriate…..but hes on the i dont give a fuck mode i really just wanna be happy again and he dosent want to help me so for now im with my depresion hating life each and everyday wishing somthin happy would come along but it wont it never will for me…..
1st blog
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