It’s stupid that I’m complaining since I’m technically the happiest I’ve ever been, but seemingly there’s nothing I can do about this. I went through my entire education not knowing that I have learning disabilities, which was a shock as a mostly A/B student. I struggled at math but I thought that was just because it’s hard, and I just wasn’t good enough. I could have been with the best students, I could have gotten a full ride if my math grades were better. It was my fault but it’s something I can’t control and can’t even diagnose and I’m so frustrated that no one bothered to ask how I was perfect in everything else but consistently failed math. Homework that took everyone else 2 hours too me 6 and I never understood. If someone would have noticed, like they did for my sibling, I wouldn’t have my current problems. I would have insurance, I could get a job and go back to college but I don’t have insurance and something is very clearly wrong physically and mentally that I can’t work through on my own. And I can’t do anything about it. The worst part is that I started transitioning and have been forced to stop, I was finally changing and I miss it so much idk what to do with myself.

I didn’t have to struggle, and because I couldn’t figure it out on my own it’s compounded to something insurmountable and I can’t do anything about it. Between autism and adhd I can’t figure out how to do insurance, and I know that’s intentional. Now to get insurance I’d have to pay more than I make in a month because I can only freelance something I hate doing and it sucks because if I or anyone noticed sooner it wouldn’t be this way. This probably doesn’t even make sense.