i am new here and i haven't really spoke about my problems before so bare with me becasue i, for some reason, don't think that i have a problem but my husband thinks i do, you see i am addicted to any kind of pain meds, nerve pills, muscle relaxers i use to do them because i use to be in a real bad marraige so i would drink, smoke pot, do cocaine, and take pills(any kind it didn't matter) just so i could survive everyday life (that was until i met my husband of 15+ yrs) i finally quit drinkning cold turkey but i still have a problem with taking my pain meds. like i am suppose to even though my husband has my meds. i still sneak and gets pills out of the bottles(and then i lie about taking them) i really want to take my meds. right but for some reason i like the high i get when i take the pills. i take loratab 10 soma and valium for health reasons but i just can't seem to take what i am suppose to take i always have to take more and i am afraid if i don't stop i am going to end up dead like several of my friends who though they knew their limits but they didn't because now they are dead and i am scared if i don't do something soon i am going to die you see i have had 3 minor heartacttacks back in Nov 2011 and i still have 6 blockages in my heart but that don't seem to scare me enough to quit and if i can't get to my meds i will go as far as taking caffine pills to get that high i even take sick stomach pills and i don't know how to stop this behavoir i there is anybody who can give me advice i would really appreaciate it i am so scared that i am going to lose my life if i don't quit.