i am new here and i haven't really spoke about my problems before so bare with me becasue i, for some reason, don't think that i have a problem but my husband thinks i do, you see i am addicted to any kind of pain meds, nerve pills, muscle relaxers i use to do them because i use to be in a real bad marraige so i would drink, smoke pot, do cocaine, and take pills(any kind it didn't matter) just so i could survive everyday life (that was until i met my husband of 15+ yrs) i finally quit drinkning cold turkey but i still have a problem with taking my pain meds. like i am suppose to even though my husband has my meds. i still sneak and gets pills out of the bottles(and then i lie about taking them) i really want to take my meds. right but for some reason i like the high i get when i take the pills. i take loratab 10 soma and valium for health reasons but i just can't seem to take what i am suppose to take i always have to take more and i am afraid if i don't stop i am going to end up dead like several of my friends who though they knew their limits but they didn't because now they are dead and i am scared if i don't do something soon i am going to die you see i have had 3 minor heartacttacks back in Nov 2011 and i still have 6 blockages in my heart but that don't seem to scare me enough to quit and if i can't get to my meds i will go as far as taking caffine pills to get that high i even take sick stomach pills and i don't know how to stop this behavoir i there is anybody who can give me advice i would really appreaciate it i am so scared that i am going to lose my life if i don't quit.

2 Comments
  1. kerrydrum23 9 years ago

     I don't want to scare you, but you will. Especially with the heart problems. My friend stopped after three heart failures, he knew he would die. Luckily i never experienced one, but I was headed down that road. Even a trip to the ER didnt stop me, but I finally got tired of it, my husband had quit drinking, so I knew it was my turn to start living my life.

    It's extremely difficult, probably the hardest thing I ever did, but now, I know in m,y heart i will never go back. I now get to go speak at rehabs to help other girls and it makes me feel so humbled.

    We dont want to tell our dr's, bcuz we'll nvr get our scripts again, but i finally did, and he pointed me in the right direction, finally!!!

    Come clean to your dr, and you will get help before you kill yourself. You WILL get though it with the support of people in the meetings, and your husband.:)

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  2. kerrydrum23 9 years ago

    You're welcome!:)Remember, ur NOT in this alone.I have panic attacks as well, so i don't like the big crowds or speaking etc, but my meetings help me bcuz I'm talking to people who want to hear my story and want help. We don't judge each other. That's important.Have u reached out to anyone yet? A Dr or a meeting? U can find meetings online:) much love!!!!!Ks

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