Some say marijuana is a gateway drug.  Those people would be half right.  I started smoking marijuana when I was sixteen years old, and I still smoke it today, almost four years later.  Marijuana is not a gateway drug.  The people you buy marijuana from are the gateway to other drugs.

I started experimenting with Adderall, Vyvanse, Ritalin, and Concerta at around age seventeen.  It didn’t take long for me to try cocaine and completely fall in love with it.  I vividly remember the night of my junior prom, where I did so much cocaine I thought my heart would burst.  That was the first time the drugs I was doing actually scared me, but I was stupid and continued doing them.  In fact, I even took it up a notch.

I had a friend in my junior & senior year of high school that introduced me to meth.  At first, I didn’t really see a difference; then I got some potent stuff off of some different people.  I remember my first time trying it: I bought a 30 bag and busted out lines as long as a CD case and as thick as my pinky finger.  I snorted the whole thing in one go.  It burned so bad I teared up, but ten minutes later, I felt like I was going a thousand miles an hour.  I stayed up for two more days (one extra night) after doing it.  That was only the beginning.

I started getting into a routine with this terrible, tempting drug.  I’d do about a 20-60 bag (2-6 grams) with my friends in a few hours.  I’d then be awake anywhere from two to five days.  Now, remember a time (if you’re able) where you stayed up all night long at a sleepover, playing video games, reading a book, whatever.  The next day was almost guaranteed to be at least a little bit miserable.  Now imagine that feeling amplified by 5x.  Don’t forget to add in hallucinations, both auditory and visual, from sleep deprivation.

I lost about 30-40 pounds in two months from doing this god awful drug.  While the weight loss isn’t a bad thing for me personally, I should have found healthier ways to do it.  My friends called meth the “three-day diet.”  They called it this because, if you did enough to last you three days, you wouldn’t eat a single bite unless you forced yourself.  Meth takes away your ability to feel hungry.  Even if you know you’re hungry, it will be extremely difficult to eat anything at all.

I finally stopped doing it after a while.  I cut it completely out of my life, and I sent the people who sold it out with it.  I went almost eight months without doing it, and then I reconnected with an old friend.  This past October I was offered some.  I remember being so angry at myself because I knew I didn’t want to do it.  I knew how I would feel in the next couple days.  It was not worth it in any way, but I still did it.  I’ve done it two or three more times since then.

 

Today is November 8th at 12:13 am.  I did two lines and smoked some at around 2:30 pm and I’m just now coming down.  I bought my own baggie today and I am very ashamed of that.  Today I was able to confirm that I do indeed have a problem, so I decided to do something about it.  I decided to write this during my comedown so I can remind myself that meth is a horrendous, destructive drug that will change (and then destroy) lives.  I want to be able to move forward from this and not feel the urge to do it ever again.

I’ve seen this drug turn a sweet young girl into a paranoid mess.  I’ve seen people stay up for weeks on end completely out of their right minds.  I was never as bad as that, thank goodness, but it definitely opened my eyes to the dangers this drug has in store.

 

From an caring recovering addict to you, please stray far away from this drug.  It will ruin your life.  I went from “one time won’t hurt,” to “I’ll just do these last few lines,” to Googling the symptoms of drug addiction.  Don’t let any drug ruin you.  If I can get help, so can you.

 

-sadshark

1 Comment
  1. missieb1203 3 years ago

    Honestly that’s really inspiring. You’ve come so far and yeah you relapsed but you are able to recognise that was wrong. It’s amazing how strong you must be to stay away from something so addictive for so long

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