So, I have come to realize that I have a problem just being able to sit still with myself and my family.  I am constantly on the go, doing something, going to see someone, going to buy something, spending money I truly don't have and just all around way too busy way too often.  Now, is this a problem, or just part of my character, I wonder?  I like being busy, I keep my attention focused on my program, I am connected with God, I help others…but I know when I am in a store for the 4th or 5th time in a month using my credit card to buy more clothes (my latest rationalization is that I have dropped 2 sizes and don't have any clothes that fit me) that this may be turning into an obsession.  Not only do I get to be distracted from life and my feelings by shopping, but I get to stay busy and not have to sit with myself.  Now, this would be all well if I had the money in the bank to cover this type of therapy, but I just don't.  It hit me last night that this may be becoming unmanagable and that I may have to put the credit card away.  Oh but wait, there's more!  See, I'm expecting a little bit of money to be coming my way soon, not sure how much, but it will be probably just enough to cover my current credit card bill.  Again, more justification that I can spend just a little more, one more pair of jeans, one more pair of shoes, one more pair of slacks…while my husband sits at home most of the time because he puts the food on the table and can't really afford to pay his part of the mortgage and put gas in his truck to go and do things himself.  I'm feeling selfish and self-centered, which is the core of my disease, and it doesn't feel good at all.  So, I'm going to take this one day at a time and just worry about today.  I'm going to stay home, hopefully, and try to keep myself busy here doing things that don't cost money.  Thanks for listening and wish me luck!