I’ve been dealing with a lot the past few years. Both of my parents have been struggling with addiction my entire life. I won’t go into details about the emotional and domestic abuse I’ve endured, but things haven’t exactly been peachy at home. I’ve essentially had to take care of them for years, since they couldn’t hold a job I had to provide the income. My mom became really sick a few years ago after my dad left, so for the past 3 years I’ve been the only one around to take care of her since she’s pushed everyone else away in her life.

A month ago my dad suffered a severe brain hemorrhage & is still recovering in the hospital, unfortunately he’s still struggling to walk, talk, & function again which has been a big weight on my heart. My mother has been making herself sick for years, and for the past two years in a row she’s told me it’s her last year left to live. A few days ago she left the hospital with news that she is in fact terminally ill. She’s been in and out of the hospital due to internally bleeding & recently developed vasculitis. Her only options left are hospice or spend the rest of her time in the hospital. I know this is a lot to post, I’ve never posted on a blog site before but I feel like I never really talk about the most difficult aspects of my life. I’m struggling to process all of it, like I know this is a serious situation but I feel like I’m in a bit of shock I guess. I just turned 21, so the thought of losing my parents is a bit terrifying. Though I struggle with Bipolar Depression & CPTSD I am surprisingly more calm than I feel I should be. I am just anxious for what lies ahead.