I hide my feelings out of shame

Because it’s seemed like I’ve always been to blame

At least in your eyes for the problems you have

But I mean all I wanted was for you care

To show me a love that a parent should share

I didn’t ask to be born, but I was anyway

But it seems like you have always regretted the day

That I came to the world and took her attention from you

But then again, what’s a newborn baby to do

I needed her love and her time, which she gave

But as I grew older I knew I needed to behave

Or I’d feel the hits and hear the words

And feel the pain that no child deserves

Didn’t you see or didn’t you care

That deep down inside I really didn’t want to be there

Or even alive at times sad to say

But I never even believed I could find the way

To end the pain I felt inside

All I knew was that I really was wishing I had died

I ate a lot and drank even more

But, little did I realize what was in store

With the memories that came

And the pain and the blame

For something I couldn’t control

I was just a kid when you did what you did

And now I’m realizing there’s so much I’ve hid

From myself and my friends, anybody who’d care

Because thanks to you, trust is something very hard to share

Since growing up I had it drilled that trust wasn’t something to do

Being open meant pain, being honest meant yelling

So even as an adult on the past I keep dwelling

I need to be free and so does that little girl inside

She needs to know she doesn’t need to hide

She can be a kid, and she will be safe

And not be hurt, simply because she’s around

To feel a love that can finally be found

By trusting someone, and letting them in

That’s when my and her TRUE life will finally begin. 

3-27-08