I have been reading others blogs and decided I would start blogging. I am not as good a writer as others on here are but I will give it a try.

I was married in 2000 got pregnant in 2001 went in for my routine tests when I was about 2 months along. I got a phone call from my OBGYN asking to see me right away I told my husband jokingly I probably have HIV well not so funny when thats the news. I was 2 months pregnant and HIV+. The first question I was asked was if I wanted to continue with my pregnancy…of course I did I wanted the baby more than anything. We snuck out the back door of the dr.s office we were devestated.

My hubby was tested and was negative so how did I get it??  I had to go to the health department to discuss it with them they wanted to know all my sexual partners so I listed them as I said one the lady freaked he was in trouble for knowingly giving it to 3 other women so there it was back when I was 19 I had a boyfriend who was out to give it to anyone he could and I was one of his victims.

I ended up going in to the local ryan white clinic I was put on meds for the pregnancy I was so sick they were just awful. On February 14, 2002 I had a beautiful baby girl who is now 6 and she is negative. Two months later I was pregnant again so back on meds I went and I got lucky once again on January 16, 2003 I had a beautiful baby boy who is also negative.

I have struggled with being HIV+ for the last 7 years I have managed to stay off meds but this last appointment the doctor said its about time so now im trying to figure out what meds to take. Im scared! My 13 yr old son still doesnt know and now im thinking I better tell him before he sees me sick.

I just started working 7 months ago after being a stay at home mom for 7 years how do I hide the side effects??  How do I explain to my babies that im to sick to play??

I hate this why did this have to happen????


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