Hi all,
My name is Diamir and I just joined this site through a reccomendation. I thought I would share a little bit of what I am struggling with and would love to hear from anyone with comments, advice, similar problems, anything. I have read through some blogs posted previously and it is sure nice to know I am not alone.
I'm a 20 year old university student who has always been a high-stress, high-pressure person but have gone from being able to deal with it to not being able to deal with it in the last year and a bit. Despite being successful at what I do, I have a constant "second voice," something my therapist called cognitive thinking I believe, that never stops. It constantly goes telling me negative things such as I need to be doing more work despite the fact I'm father ahead than anyone I know, or I shouldn't be relaxing, or my life is boring and depressing because I have to go the the library to study. It is this never-ending voice trying to bring me down and although I have rational thoughts that tell me I'm being irrational or that I will be okay, my irrational, negative voice overpowers everything else. On a good day I might be distracted enough to have fun and only worry a bit about things and on a bad day I become so wrapped up in my negative, irrational thoughts that I feel physically ill, depressed, and burst into a complete crying meltdown. I am often frustrated by the idea of feeling like this because not only do I worry about everything, but I then worry about worrying so much and it becomes this constant cycle of feeling like I will never get better. I am seeing a therapist and working with some medications to get on top of things but I would love any support or comments. It is always a wonderful feeling to know I am not alone and know that people have succeeded in overcoming anxiety.
From what I\'ve learned over the years feelings of guilt and anxiety tend to go hand in hand. What exactly the link is I cannot tell you, but it is so often there. You are obviously incredibly hard on yourself which also tends to be characteristic of those who suffer from anxiety disorders. I cannot proffer advice per se but I can tell you that treatment of anxiety/panic is very similar to analgesia, the treatment of pain. If it is dealt with swiftly, nipped in the bud, the chances of an anxious episode spiraling out of control are greatly reduced. You seem to have identified the problem early (many go years refusing to acknowledge that there is even a problem – yours truly being an excellent example), and have already sought out a health professional. In the treatment of trauma how quickly an analgesic is administered can make the difference between a patient\'s having to endure agony and a patient\'s being able to cope with the pain. I don\'t know where you stand with medication at the moment, but that may be something that you should ask about when you next see the doctor.
Thanks for the comment. For me, anxiety and guilt definitely go hand in hand. Guilt over feeling the way and I and when I try to be less anxious, guilt over that. I have a serious problem with time and for me everything needs to be scheduled which leaves my life boring and rigid. I\'m trying to work on this but just the thought of doing things a bit differently makes my heart race. I am looking into medication with a doctor currently as I have tried some things and want to find something consistent to work with.