Dear Reader,

                   Today was interesting. I had a test at my local college in my speech class. I don’t know how well I did and that scares me. It really does. I’m scared of a grade that doesn’t even determine much. Why? Because I’m scared of uncertainty I’m scared of what I don’t know. I’m scared of the future, the past, and the present. I’m scared of all three. Now you may be saying “Why didn’t you study more then?” Well, good question my friend. I thought I knew what the hell I was doing. I really thought I did. It was a midterm. The word “test” has elicted fear in me ever since I was a child and it still does to a certain point. I mean, I’m not crying my eyes out but it still bothers me… a lot. It’s like a hand around my neck…slowly strangling me to the point I can’t breath. I hope I get a C or something like that at least. I HATE test to the point of wanting to burn every one of thoes little suckers up in a great, enormous ball of flame. Just watch it all burn before me. That’s what I want to do. Let the fire eat my problems away.

There was supposed to be an LGBT+ group at my college called Spectrum. They were supposed to meet from 2:00 pm to 3:30 pm today in room 305. When I went there though no one was there. I saw a                      tumbleweed go down the hall. Why? I tried searching for answers. They eventually told me to email the sponsor to see if they moved rooms or changed times. Another fun thing I wanted to do down the toilet again. I feel so alone where I’m at right now. Like I’m the only LGBT+ person for miles and miles. I’m disappointed and saddened.