Just thought I would start this by writing a bit about me. Not that there is alot to write. Basically this year has been hell.

Finally after 8 years of being married to a controlling man I got out. We have 2 children together. Girls 18mths and 4. We split and as usual he bes nice to me and then I believe everything he says grrrrr. So the kids were meant to go to him for 2 weeks and he ends up keeping them and not allowing them to come back to me. Due to the law etc there is not much chance I will win in court for them to come and live with me in a different state.

So at the moment I am trying to come to terms with having to have vistation and them live with him most of the time  I am so scared of his family that they thought of going to live within the required distance of him sends me into panic attacks. So for the time being this is how it has too be.

I have meet someone new now who is wonderful caring and helping me soooo much. I am getting out and doing stuff which I have not been allowed to do during my marriage. Big crowds still scare the living daylights out of me. I have taken up Salsa dancing and can’t believe how much I love doing it. It has become a real escape for me.

I am missing my babies sooooo much but I am pushing that to the back of my mind at the moment so I can try and get better and be the person and therefore the mother I want to be and deserve to be.

I have joined here as I am feeling the need to sometimes write things down and talk with people who are going through depression and/or anxiety.

Thats all for now. Thanks for reading. Next one will be about my depression etc this is it for now  

1 Comment
  1. angie521 14 years ago

    HI, Welcome to the tribe, Sounds like you have had a rough time…….I does get better with  time……….Divorce is never easy…..I too was married 14 years to a controlling man and he fought me tooth and nail just for spite but it has been 7 years since the divorce and it did get better……..we finaaly seen eye to eye did what was best for the kids after we got over the initial hatred so I think if you give it time he will relax and do what is best for the kids………Stay as close as you can to your kids and let them know you are there despite the fighting and circumstances..Dont give up if they have to live there for now thats ok as long as they are being taken care of……..and maybe later you an get them back…………I wish the you the best…….I know from experience it took alot of courage to get out……..I remember how hard it was for me to leave and even after I had everything packed up and on the truck and leaving I fell on my knees and sobbbed cause was I was so scared to leave…..Good luck

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