I'm sorry if i don't talk much on here, it's just i have a different method of being a part of d.t. I actually feel like i'm using these blogs to communicate with you but i don't even know how other people use this site socially and how your meant to talk to people. i don't talk to a single perspon here and i get friend requests and don't really know when i should keep in touch etc.

Anyway, there are adult bullies you have to watch out for. Sometimes they don't even know they're doing it but it's usually the ones older than you because they're jelous of your age and nothing else. Some people have the empathy and intelligence to see that you've not even had a tiniest bit of the types of happiness they have had and they arn't jelous because they have no reason to be but a lot are jelous, sometimes even when they can read the trauma/anxietyin you. They usually start by asking way too personal questions when they have never even spoken to you before and you get a feeling they don't like you for some reason, then comes the patronising "oh but youve actually got it good and this is actually good.." when really it is not good in any way and your thinking how can this person be saying this? Theyre sometimes a bit cruel in the way they blank things out about you and then exaggerate your assets that you don't even want because they don't have that thing.
i'm probably going to get help soon because i can't make friends or socialise with anyone and it's too much for me. theres a small strength in me that says at a certain time of day "you don't need the help, you have your freedom and if you wern't so lazy and selfish you could use it" but you can only crawl with no legs for so far.

When i say i'm "lazy and selfish" it's not that i have the choice to be normal, it's that i need to accept that i'l never be normal and will still have to pick my feet up and do things my own way (the way i have to do them/ the destiny god has layed out for me)