Many people have specified "no bullies" "no haters". This is my story.
I have bulliesin my apartment building. Bully #1 was gossiping with bully#2 in the small mailroom. I needed to return a cart to the mailroom. The 2 women refused to let me pass saying the cart did not belong in the mailroom. I told them we had just received a memo allowing us to return carts to the mailroom. The bullies blocked my entrance with their bodies and told me to go away. I did. I had smoke boiling out of my ears.
Yesterday I was checking the mail. Bully #1 was in the mailroom. Bully #2 was working the front desk. I peeked in to see if the mail had come. Bully #2 said I had a package, so I went over to get the package. Bully #1 came out of the mail room and started yelling at me. I kept my back turned to her as she yelled "She saw me in the mail room and ran out. We showed her didn't we? Blah blah blah. Bully #2 looked embarrassed but said nothing as Bully #1 hurled abusive remarks at me.
I honestly did not realize she was hurling insults at me. I thought she was talking about someone else. I did not respond not did I turn around to face her.
Later that night I realized she was talking to me! Fear swept over me.
I didn't sleep well last night> I was up at 2am and went back to sleep at 4am. i took another Seroquel and overslept until 9:30/ I feel terrible today. Drugged and like sand in my eyes.
Has anyone had this terrifying expereince of being verbally attacked and feeling defenseless?
I walked to the store today and was shakiing so badly i could barely stand. As I walked home from the store, I felt like i would collapse. I believe this was anxiety and fear.
let me get through the day.
What do I need to do? If I respond, the battle will escalate. I could report them to management ,but I feel embarrassed like I did something wrong. The apt manager will blow me off as silly, petty.
I keep wondering what I could have possibly done to provoke such hostility and aggression. I honestly thought the woman was going to hit me.
Any ideas on handling bullies?
Thank you. I get such comfort from this web site and I appreciate all responses.
Wanda
Thank you Heather for the reply.
Avoidance is my tactic for now. I've been watching too much Dr.Phil. He says to stand up to your bullies; it's the only way to get rid of them.
I also know that people with low esteen get attacked. Mine isn't great right now. When my esteem is high, bullies don't even come near me. I keep blaming myself thinking I must have done something to have caused this.
Thank you for understanding.
Wanda
Wanda, I'm SOOO sorry that you have to put up with this in your apartment building! That's so wrong! I understand your fear and anger ~ they're both justified. For me I've learned that in the face of bullies, especially adult ones, not to allow yourself to show fear and don't back down when they start. Ignore them as long as possible and often they will get bored with attacking you because there's no response, which makes it no longer "fun" (why ANYONE thinks it's fun is beyond me…it's awful).
I see that your planning on avoidance with your reply to Heather; and that will only work for a short while. Then they'll start TRYING to create situations with you because they will know you are uncomfortable. As for self-esteem, you're right, they target us when we're low.
Wanda, how old are these women? Are they younger than you? I take it from what you're saying that they work in your building…
If it continues hon, or if you really feel threatened ~ talk to somebody! And start keeping a journal of the incidents as they happen and date them. Confront your landlord or tenant management about the situation, and if they won't listen, start taking the list with you and demanding they read it. Don't let them keep it ~ they will most likely *accidentally* lose or destroy it. If you keep pushing them and irritating them they'll eventually have to address the issues with the employees.
You deserve to be able to feel at home in your building ~ not frightened or afraid! I hope you have a better day today, and that you're not feeling so jittery and nervous. Don't allow them to affect you ~ to them it's a game. And if the harassment doesn't stop~ call the police and ask what you can do about it.
I hope this helps some. This is how I would handle it to begin with, but there's a different approach for everyone. Let me know how it's progressing.
BIG HUGS!!! ~Key