Hi everyone,

So as most of you know, Eric my fiance and I have been living with at my dad's house since the end of August…since then the living situation has been a living hell…I'm CONSTANTLY CLEANING up after my brothers and my father, which REALLY stresses me out becuase I can't live in absolute filth all the time.

Then, we rented out the basement of our house which is tiny, cramped, dark, and depressing, and I HATE IT down here…so for the past few months, Eric and I have been going back and forth between…" Should we buy or should we rent, buy or rent, buy or rent!?" And then everyone tells us something DIFFERENT! We met a relator when we were looking for rentals back in September, and he told us, "Oh noo…now is the time to BUY!" So we decided to save up money while living at my dad's to buy a house…but then Eric is still afraid to buy a house right now because of a bunch of other reasons why people are saying that its NOT time to buy (I can't understand all the technicalities of it, but its has to do with mortgages and the amount of many houses being lower than the mortgages…I don't know) I know the housing crisis is bad right now, but I don't totally understand the specifics of why.

So the point is, I can't take it here anymore…its driving me nuts, making me depressed, and I can't wait any longer and Eric is also unhappy here, so yesterday, I told him, "We need to get out of here," and so we are now looking at rentals again and are probably going to move to this one place that we looked at all those months ago that is still availible….

its on a small horse farm and its above a vets office, which is nice because I love animals…but when I think about moving there, I start to get ANXIOUS…and I think its because I konw that this place is far (an hour from our families), and that makes me really nervous, and ALSO, the landlord is a bit nutty….he is an ultra right wing conservative, and he also has a really aggressive form of Leukemia and when we were talking to him, he was coming on REALLY strong with his views about politics and what not, and he seemed ultra hyper and abrassive.

He wasn't rude to me or anything, but I have two gay guys for best friends, am totally against guns, hunting, all that crap, and well, I'm ultra liberal…and I'm kind of afraid that something bad will happen if we move there with this landlord.

He really was a generous man, he apparantly loves animals (he is a vet), but maybe becuase he's sick he's just a bit nuts…his eyes were bloodshot and he wasn't making sense with some of the things he was talking about…I'm just a bit nervous, but right now I feel like anywhere is better than here.

He did have really nice aspects about him, and has acres of land that he told us we can roam around on whenever we feel like it. I just have this scared feeling of moving again and then my mind tells me," Its God trying to tell you that you're not meant to be with ERic, something bad WILL happen if you move there, becuase its not meant to be, stay here!"

Either way…I want to move with Eric…but I'm scared at the same time-what if something bad does happen