Today my husband hurt me very badly. Last night we had a major life decision we were supposed to be discussing and deciding together. I tried all the things we had been trying from marriage counseling. Setting a specific time to have the discussion. Making sure I left plenty of time for him to take control of the conversation. Asking questions to see what he thought. Rewording the questions if he didnt quite answer them. I didnt get many opinions or much discussion. I thought maybe that was because he didnt have them.

Today I find out that wasnt the case. We had a meeting with this lady and suddenly he had many opinions and ideas and thoughts. I was very hurt but thought maybe he just thought of them or something. I tried to get him to talk to me about them but he didnt want to talk to me. He wanted to talk to her about them. I tried abotu 5 times then had to stop because I was getting upset. When I tried to discuss what had happened and how it made me feel with him later, he tried to say it hadnt happened. It turned into a huge arguement and then a fight. I did get an apology which is extremely rare and he did seem to understand how badly he had hurt me but still….

I know that he loves me and that he didnt do it on purpose. And I know that he wasnt attracted to her or anything. Its just so hard to see him willing and able to talk with someone but not willing or able to talk to me. I made the decision to give him some time to try and be a husband and a father again. I just hope that I am making the right decision and not beating a dead horse here.

I would do anything for this man, but I also have to take care of the kids and I'm trying to learn to take care of myself. I've had several very big issues to deal with in recent years and I could use some support. Yet I am supporting him still and doing all I can to help him. At some point I either need him to help me a little or I have to give up and take care of myself and the kids the best I can.

I just dont know.

2 Comments
  1. Ghostgirl 10 years ago

    I don't know the full story but when a guy is unwilling to talk to you but will talk to someone else things just get worse. Major problem, I don't see how he thinks anything will get better this way.

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  2. Steph_jn 10 years ago

    I know.  I worry I am putting hope where there isnt any.  However he has been trying to be different and he did make a heart felt apology for today.  🙁  I want to not be a door mat but I also love him and dont want to throw away 10 years of marriage without making sure that its not saveable…. 🙁

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