If I have OCD and ADHD does that make me mentally ill by default.

In my current state of mind, I feel that I am mentally ill. I am kind of in this fight for right dispute with my dad. My mother is caught between the two of us. I knw for certain in my mind that what I am doing is right. Which in my mothers eyes is driving my dad crazy. I see that as a good thing. I think logically, either he will give up and stop tring to aggrvate me, or he will drop dead from a heart attack. he needs a triple bypass surgery and refuses to listen to the doctors, because his bar buddies have convienced him into thinking doctors are only in it for the money. I feel sort of righteous in being able to drive my dad crazy, it is kind of poetic justice. When I was a child, he took great joy and knocking me around. Now the tables are turned. I also think that if my parents had taken the time to get me properly diagnosed, then I would have learn to deal with these crazy mind moments at a younger age. I don't feel i am getting better, i feel like I am getting worst. Somedays are good but most days are bad. Other then the internet, I have very lttle contact with the outside world. When I am at college, people talk to me, but there s a distinct line that has been drawn. I hate that. It seems like if i draw a line, i am a bad person, but when people draw a line, i am still a bad person. I do believe, no matter how hard I try to work at it, I will never fit into what people want me to. I have been a radical all my life, I don't think that will change. I don't know anymore….

2 Comments
  1. Lalaya 13 years ago

    nones mentaly ill by default.. and to be honest having ocd and adhd is no excuse for cruel behaviour.. you rdad might not have been a great dad.. look around here and you'l find alot of people with simeler stories.. 

    as for your parents taking notice to get you propely diagnosed.. you need to take charge of your own life now.. and dela with what life throws at you.. blaming your parents does nothing to help, only hinder, you wont get better while you consume your self with such feelings.

    as for the adhd  there are alotta hings you can try to help yourself.. such as diet change ect.. 

     the ocd a little harder to tackle in my opinion but still dealable you sound to me like you need to take charge of your own life instaed of resenting your parents for what the didnt do.. 

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  2. mattbenjamin50 13 years ago

    True,

    However, I filed for disablity income through social security and the counsler said it could take several weeks to get started.

    I asked, " should i get a part-time job in the meantime?"

    she said, "no, that will only effect your status."

    meanwhile that was back in august. Everyone agrees that I should just stay at home and concentrate on college. Now it is November, I am broke, cant afford to buy my medication. My parents, although say they understand, keep yelling at me to get a job. when I say, " I was told not to do that, or it will hurt my disability, and the Dr said it wasn't a good idea to work around other people.

    I ran out of money several weeks ago and was unable to take my 80mg of prozac for 3 weeks. I been slowly building it back up since I renew my perscription, but I ran out of adderrall, and can't afford to get more.

    I am so fucos on doing well in school, I have had a hard time concentrating on little things, and even though I take great effort to study, i forget the important information. When I finally get really motivated to do the work, the modem fails to work, or the internet goes down, or the site i need to log into is undergoing maintenance.

    For some reason, I kicked all my friends off my myspace site. For some reason I was so upset about people casting me aside or dismissing me, that i just kicked everyone off of my site.

    I don't have a relationship problem right now, because I have never been in a relationship. people always run away from me.

    I get angry and fustrated, and these same people that are pissing me off orrunning away from me, say, "you have no right to be angry with us, or stereotype us." Statments similar to these, just piss me off! I just want to start cracking heads with a shovel.

    I said before, I have built, crashed , and rebuilt my life 15 times. People always claim I am so disruptive and out of control.

    I just know I am done with people.

     

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