I recently had a suprise visit from my parents. Its been 6 months since i last seen them so it was emotional. This has caused me to write this blog about them (as my personal journal has gone missing). Just to get it off my chest and my mind really. So i don't have to have one of those pondering thoughts that last for days in which i know will drive me crazy. So here goes my free writing: My parents haven't been too understanding of my OCD and depression so that leaves our relationship strained. When I finished college several years ago, I did the typical moving back in with the parents until you sort out your life thing.Thats when my parents saw how much OCD has affected my life. We each had our opinions on how to deal with it. They suggested I "snap out of it and grow up". Yeah, they had no clue how difficult that is to do let alone impossible. Before i continue on, i should say that our parent/child relationship is complicated. In a sense that there were times in the past when they were not the "adult/parents" but more like the "teenagers/siblings". Both become parents at a very young age and stuck in that teenage mode. This resulted in an unstable childhood but not as damaging to me or my siblings as one would think. With both parents emotionally and sometimes physically absent we, siblings, banded together and relied on each other. So it became an older siblings raising the younger siblings situation with the parents coming and going for years. As a result I am very close and protective of my siblings therefore I hold their love and opinions above my parents. Unlike my parents, they witness my struggle with OCD ever since i was little. Though we had no idea what it was called let alone how to treat it. So lately I have been gathering up stories of my OCD from family members and friends. I was suprise to hear their take on my OCD, some are suprisingly humorous (now that the wounds have healed and emotions are drained out) and some are still horrific and hurtful. As I was on the phone with one of my sisters talking about a memory i couldn't piece together she informed me that she had let slip to my parents about my recent nervous/emotional breakdown. So as my parents visited they asked about my OCD. I was shocked as they never talk about it let alone bring in up. I usually try to evade the bickering that one can expect conversing with my parents and I knew any talk about how i still suffer from depression and anxieties brings on agruments. But at that moment I felt that there was something different about this and i was right. For the first time they showed deep concerns for my mental state. This is something huge not only for them but me as well. As the days pass I'm finding myself wanting to open up to them about my life now that their sympathetic doors have been open. We shall see.
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Wow. Thank you for sharing. I am so glad that your parents are finally seeing the real you and not your illness. I hope this helps in your journey.
Congratulations. This is great!!! It helps so much to know that you have people to talk to and to help you through those rough days. My parents were very understand, but my inlaws were not. They still avoid OCD alot. My mother in law would always say "I just don't understand". I tried to explain things as much as I possibly could, but eventually the answer "I don't understand it either, but I have it and I'm dealing with it" worked. My parents researched and tried to help in any way. I would say that my inlaws still have no idea about OCD or the things I have to deal with on a daily basis. I was told to "Just get over it". IMPOSSIBLE!! But, they just don't get that. It definitely strained our relationship because I always felt like they think of being around me as inconvient because I am so touchy about things they may do or bring around or ask me to do. It's hard. Hopefully your parents are finally seeing that they need to support you and help you in ways only parents can. I'm rooting for you!
It's good to hear your parents are really listening.I hope it all carries on for you.I talk to my parents once a week on the phone back in NZ. I was just telling my Mum that I'd had another bad episode last week.Which seems to have gone away now.I don't mean to make them feel uncomfortable.But then my upbringing had a lot to do with why I have OCD.So them feeling uncomfortable really is nothing like the emotional pain I go through.But don't get me wrong I don't wish to upset my parents as I don't get to see them a lot in person anyway. So it's good to hear things are on the up for you.
Thats great that you are able to open up a little more to you'r parents and they seem to understand better i hope this continues. My mum is so supportive it's great but my dad is not he too tells me to get over it he once said just go into hospital for 2 weeks and you will be cured yeah right dad if only it was that easy. Anyway good luck with everything and stay strong.