No matter what I do, and no matter how hard I try nothing ever changes for the better. I’m always doing for others and it never gets appreciated. I have to go visit my father to help him even though he should be in a position to help himself but he’s not, and my brother doesn’t help anyone even though he has the means to. He has a better job than I do and a car and never visits. He never goes out of his way to do anything for anyone other than himself. Sometimes I hate having him for a brother. Another so-called friend that always flakes at the last minute without the damn decency of giving me a heads up. Out of the 8 years I’ve known her she’s only asked me to hang out 3 times and the first was after I told her I had suicidal ideation. Every single other time over the past 8 years it’s been me initiating everything. I shouldn’t even have any expectations for this terrible friend since I’m always planning everything. I don’t even know what I liked about her to begin with anymore. Friends are supposed to be there for each other. She don’t even have the self-awareness to know what she’s doing, because she doesn’t care. I told her if she wants to meet then let me know, but since she never plans anything I won’t be hearing from her. Friends are supposed to support each other and that doesn’t exist in my life. I’m always been a better friend to others than they are to me. Everyone in my life is incredibly exhausting. I do more for others than they’ve ever done for me and I’m fucking sick and tired of it. My mother is the only person in my life who cares. People don’t give a fuck so why should I. I’m tired of people in general. Tired of hearing them, and tired of being around them. People don’t have empathy, not even family. People are inherently selfish.