Growing up my family was never financially stable. I lived in a single parent home with brothers and sisters. Things were never easy for my mom, my siblings and I never had the best of everything. A few times we were evicted from our apartments and were forced to find a new place today. Although now I am on my own and working full time, I am also a college student with a lot of expenses. I feel like my finances are the biggest cause of my stress. Every day at least three times I am calculating about how much my check is going to be, and what bills I can pay. The anxiety shouldn't be there because I am extremely good with finances and my bills are always paid on time. However, I always fear that I’m not going to have enough money for this or that, or what happens if my car breaks down. I am always worried that some kind of miscellaneous expense is going to pop up and I won't have the money. (I have a lot of medical bills I am currently trying to pay off.) My biggest problem is never wanting to spend money on myself. Although the last few weeks I have been working overtime, I always feel guilty when I purchase something for myself. (even if it’s small). I always think that 20 dollars could have gone to a medical bill or a savings account.
I decided I don't want to be this fearful person anymore. It is not worth it. I have decided to allow myself to only calculate my paychecks when it is getting close to payday. Then I can calculate what bills I need to pay. I have also decided that any overtime I work will not go to bills. That money will be spent on me. A nice treat for a job well done. The monthly bills are always paid on time and as long as I pay something on my medical bills I should be able to spend extra money on myself. (I will save some too)! I believe I recently lost 15lbs and so the overtime on this paycheck will go towards new clothes. I enjoy reward systems.
I hope that by splurging occasionally I will not become anxious about my other bills. I need to nip this fear in the butt. I know with this economy I am not the only one struggling with finances. Any other suggestion?