Made it through yesterday.  Talked to Ace late last night.  I told him I was sure I would feel better today.  What was I thinking?  I always wake up feeling like sh*t.  Made an appointment with my GI specialist, finally, to talk about my stomach pain.  Not going to miss this appointment…

When I was strung out I had a really hard time keeping appointments, and sh*t.  I was forgetful, and I was usually ill.  Someone called my phone at 9am – I didn’t think anyone I liked would be up that early (aside from Ace, and others who work – and they are at work, so why would they be calling me?  They would not be.), so I let it ring.

Steve keeps calling me.  I don’t answer.  I almost called him back yesterday, just to get my dealer’s number (I erased it from my phone).  But, I did not.  What a rough night…  at least, I got through it without f@cking anything up.  Sorry if I scared anyone, with my talk of heroin…

It was definitely a consideration.

I wrote a friend numerous times during the night (e-mail), and he eventually called, and that was good.  Actually, it was very good – it helped a lot.  Which is why I didn’t bitch when he made some comment about how he couldn’t possibly read all those emails (there weren’t a dozen, and they were all pretty damn short – some were music and pix I knew this person would want).  Huh?  If he sent me a bunch of emails, I would read them all.  Whatever…  maybe, that’s my problem.  Maybe, I should take my cues from other people.