It’s been over a year since my last visit with a therapist and about the same since I’ve taken any kind of medication for my depression and anxiety. I thought the days of major anxiety issues were behind or at least more manageable now that I’ve been through it and learned how to take care of myself better; I was very wrong.
Over the last week, my sleeping has been intermittent. I have woken up a few times a night but I’d eventually go back to sleep. When I’m awake, I ruminate. I’ll create a worse case scenario and dwell on it. My mind will not let go of the most negative outcome until it comes up with a empirical solution. The problem is there’s never a perfect solution.
Last night, I only managed to sleep a couple hours, maybe three. The anxiety is very strong and persistent. I can feel it from the back of my head and mildly pulsating down my spine. Has anyone in here felt this before? I hear people talk about flight or fight and that is a good analogy in this case. My mind is in fear of the future and will not let me relax and as a result I can not sleep. I really do not do well without sleep. I’m the one who usually falls asleep by 10pm and sleeps deeply until 5:30-6am. I love my sleep but who doesn’t!
This could not be a worse time a for a relapse! Within the next couple weeks, my wife will be giving birth to twin boys; these are babies 4 and 5 in my family. I know this seems like a lot but I come from a family of 10 and she is from 5. Needless to say, I’m used to having a large amount of family around; there’s a birthday every weekend in my family!
So, does anyone have recommendations for sleep and anxiety? It needs to be strong because I’ve tried small remedies in the past and they have little or no effect on me. From past experiences, if I go 1 or 2 more days with little or no sleep, the depression will spiral out of control.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!