I know…it’s not even 10 am…but I had a very emotional week end…Im in a weird place with all my “things” bi polar, tourette’s, a.d.d. o.c.d. ugh~ everything….plus things with this guy~~ im sure im messing up & i hate that..i always “break things” in my life…i jsut wish i could get thigs right for a change… i REALLY would like my life & my self, my feelings…to feel & be on an even keel for a change…to be happy~ or close enough…for more then a day or two…to actually have things work out with this guy~ to actually find a p.t. job, get things in me so called life back on track…finances~ my car…make it down for start of next term at school…i should be there right now~ i just hate this feeling…the harder i try the more i mess up~ i dont give up…i wont..but IDK~ sometimes i wonder why i try so hard…im a good person really…but so why dont i seem to be able to catch an occasional break? no this isnt a poor me thing…but trust me…things the past yr have been way more tough then should have ever had to be…it’s made me stronger & a btr person im sure…hell i made it tho…but barely..sometimes i wonder…lost a lot of friends along the way..jsut having a bad morning & feel sad…more then have recently…ive been more up hyper, anxious,etc…tho still have that too..i hate it being so dark out & cloudy too..makes my mood worse…IDK ive applied for so many jobs with no luck~ dont know about school for sure~ my freinds…eh…family at least is pretty ok..jsut bug me sometimes~ car..IDK yet~ $$..grr…the guy thing…IDK~ i need to figure that out…how to not be sooo hyper & so bouncy about stuff…i know its a lot for sme people..a lot of people really..i dont know how to…IDK what to say if i should tell him..or eh~ ok im jsut rambling like a dork some im gonna go away now..sry for soounding like a whiney baby 🙁 grr k thx all
:- )sorry if that made no sense jsut had to vent~

jackie~