I know…it’s not even 10 am…but I had a very emotional week end…Im in a weird place with all my “things” bi polar, tourette’s, a.d.d. o.c.d. ugh~ everything….plus things with this guy~~ im sure im messing up & i hate that..i always “break things” in my life…i jsut wish i could get thigs right for a change… i REALLY would like my life & my self, my feelings…to feel & be on an even keel for a change…to be happy~ or close enough…for more then a day or two…to actually have things work out with this guy~ to actually find a p.t. job, get things in me so called life back on track…finances~ my car…make it down for start of next term at school…i should be there right now~ i just hate this feeling…the harder i try the more i mess up~ i dont give up…i wont..but IDK~ sometimes i wonder why i try so hard…im a good person really…but so why dont i seem to be able to catch an occasional break? no this isnt a poor me thing…but trust me…things the past yr have been way more tough then should have ever had to be…it’s made me stronger & a btr person im sure…hell i made it tho…but barely..sometimes i wonder…lost a lot of friends along the way..jsut having a bad morning & feel sad…more then have recently…ive been more up hyper, anxious,etc…tho still have that too..i hate it being so dark out & cloudy too..makes my mood worse…IDK ive applied for so many jobs with no luck~ dont know about school for sure~ my freinds…eh…family at least is pretty ok..jsut bug me sometimes~ car..IDK yet~ $$..grr…the guy thing…IDK~ i need to figure that out…how to not be sooo hyper & so bouncy about stuff…i know its a lot for sme people..a lot of people really..i dont know how to…IDK what to say if i should tell him..or eh~ ok im jsut rambling like a dork some im gonna go away now..sry for soounding like a whiney baby 🙁 grr k thx all
:- )sorry if that made no sense jsut had to vent~

jackie~

1 Comment
  1. dr_fruikenstein 14 years ago

    Being able to blog about things is often a great escape. It often helps me through the day to blog about things. Blogging may possibly be what got you through the day. At least it’s helpful, anyway. Don’t worry if your blog sounds whiney. That’s what this community was created for. If you read my recent “whiney” blog, keep in mind that I would never punch my mother. That’s only how I feel sometimes. My therapist is still working on a diagnosis for me. Last visit he was thinking possibly PTSD, Bi-poler, ADHD-inatentive, with some signs of BPD. All mixed together. I see him tomorrow afternoon.

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