Tonight my boyfriend and I had a date night. I can honestly say that I felt normal. I didn't feel depressed or like there was anger boiling deep inside me. We had a bit of a dispute but it was just because we didn't communicate all the way, but we solved it.
He took me to go see the movie Kickass, I enjoyed the movie. Before the movie we got a bit to eat and even though people were talking to us everywhere we went, I didn't feel the need to run away from them like I usually do. I didn't feel left out in conversations, in fact I even added to the conversations. I actually enjoyed myself.
It was a bit funny though, he actually wanted us to match somewhat, I thought that was very metro of him, but whatever lol he ended up wearing all black, and I wore a pair of blue denim jeans and a black shirt. People started conversations with him every where we went and whenever he just looked at someone. He had his color contacts in (I honestly love his eye color, but he doesn't like it) the contacts are all white, so you can only see the black part. So people were asking him about the contacts and then asking me if I found it freaky too, I don't.
But 95% of the night I enjoyed myself. I felt calm, at ease and like I didn't need to be in fight or flight mode, it was a really nice change. Hopefully this is the first of many days I feel like this. I could get use to feeling like this. I wonder if this is how everyone else feels all the time, you know 'normal' people I guess, or whatever you want to call them.