My Uncle fell again. He didn't hit his head, but they had to send out an ambulance because my aunt couldn't get him off the ground by herself. They loaded him onto the ambulance and took him to the hospital. He was admitted overnight. His heart was acting very erratic, going from 40 bpm to 176 bpm. There wasn't much they could do for him, so they sent him home. He's so weak and he's really spacey and not with it. It's not another stroke or anything like that ~ he's dying slowly of congestive heart failure. I don't know how much longer he has with us. He's too weak to walk, even with a walker and he cannot stand up on his own once he's sat down. This is really problematic because he's6' 3" and my aunt is only 5' 3''. He's also incontinent now which severelydepresses him. He's horrified by that. I think he's given up.I pray that he doesn't try to kill himselfbecause he's been threateningfor years off and on (PTSD and depression). But since he now feels like hehas no dignity because of his situation and doesn't see himself getting betterhe might just try it.

I'm so very sad right now, and scared. I love my Uncle and don't want tolose him. But like everything else that lives, it eventually passes on. It seems like the time isdrawing near for him.

I came upstairs last night to find my Mom crying hard. When I asked her what thematter was she told me that he's was going to leave usvery soon. I don'tknow what happened during that phone callthat caused her to think that, but she saideven his voice is very weak and he keeps making comments about "notmuch longer now…" . I don't know if I can bearthis.

Today I'm going to try to get out of the house and do something enjoyable. Maybe I'll check with my aunt tosee if they would like some company for a little while. I just don't want to scare my son if we see my Uncle and he's in really bad shape. Maybe I'll wait to do that when Aaron gets up this afternoon; wait, I can't. He's working a split double shift today. Dangit!

Regardless though, I will find time to go down and visit. I will also make myself take some time to do something nice for myself and my son. I've also got togo to the post office today.

For now though I think I'll catch some shut-eye on the couch. I've been up since 5 a.m. (really3 a.m.~ I just tossed and turned for the 2hours in between) and could use a little more rest. I'm again asking for prayers for our family and my Uncleor positive thoughts our way.Every little bit helps. I know his time is coming soon, but maybe we can help him pass easier and more peacefully. I think even he knows that he's being called home soon.

If you read this ~ thank you for your kindness. I hope you have a blessed day.

~ Key