I had done everything right–for a change–in my dealings with a girl whom I became interested in these past couple of months…for a change, I had "played it cool", so determined to learn from past mistakes, restraining myself from putting my heart out on my sleeve, not showing such eagerness and desperation to "win her heart"….So finally after weeks of patience, weeks of just having really nothing more than just harmless small talk with her–save for one time where I did kind of subtley ask her out, and got a vauge answer in reply, so decided to let it go and just keep in contact with her and hold off from trying agaiin until now–I decided to ask her out again, and did so again AT FIRST in a playing-it-cool manner….just asked if she would be interested in getting together sometime in person, for like a drink or coffee or whatever, and submitted the message to her…then a few minutes later, the freaking idea just HAD to come into my head that I wasn't being "direct" enough with her, that I wasn't making it clear enough that I had a strong interest in her and that for some reason, she needed to know that from me(!)…so I go back to FB and send another messsage to her where I basically said the following: "You know, I gave it some thought..and can't figure out why I'm not being direct enough with you, so please omit the part in my last message to you where I asked 'would you be interested in going out some time?', and substitute that instead with 'Will you go out with me sometime'?"….Unbelievable…managed to play it so cool for so long with her…felt like I was finally approaching this kind of situation the right way…only to get some nutty idea in my head at the last second that I have to clearly ask her "Will you go out with me sometime", rather than just sticking to the considerably less desperate sounding "would you be intereted in getting together sometime?"….and when I do finally get the nerve to log back into Facebook and check to see her reply., if the answer is in fact one of rejection, I'm going to be kicking myself silly wondering if I showed too much desperation at the last second by removing any doubt at all to her about my level of interest in her, if going from "You want to get together sometime?" to "Will you go out with me sometime?" is where I will have blown it,,,,and as far as depression goes with all of this??….I got to hope that I'm strong enough to handle the rejection if that's indeed what it turns out to be and that it doesn't send me back into a depressive funk….had told myself beforehand that I'm strong enough to deal with and accept it…..but I guess I'll possibly be finding out soon enough if I'm right about that….I mean, obviously, the fact that I'm afraid to go back on Facebook and see what her reply is is NOT encouraging….

So…if anyone out there is reading this, if you could provide me with input, an opinion or whatever as to whether I might have botched a golden opportunity by changing the wording as I mentioned enough in my approach to asking her out….and please be honest with me. Because if I've blown this, I need to once again learn from my mistakes for future references.

2 Comments
  1. Aswa 8 years ago

    This way you have asked a direct question and so can expect to know all the sooner whether you have a chance with this girl or not.

    If not,  then you must move forward without looking back.

    Just my opinion. Peace, Aswa.

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  2. sadviolinist 8 years ago

    Todd, I think by asking her directly you did a good thing. I know as a woman I prefer when a man makes a clear statement about his interest in me ~ it shows that you believe in yourself. Don't double back and let doubt get the best of you. Stand firm in your commitment of what you wanted to know.  I agree with Aswa on this.  If she says no, then you have to keep moving forward.  Try not to let it get you down too much.  I know you're worried about being rejected, but sometimes being rejected can lead us unknowingly to where we really want to be.  Take care and talk again soon! ((HUGS))

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