If you dont want to read all this, in the last paragraph is an anxiety related topic that all of you can answer, but feel free to read all lol


Well yes a good week, not so much for me but mainly for mum, see every time she got ahead with money saved up, something would always happen, the dog needed another operation or her car would need to be fixed or something needed to be replaced and every time that happened it got her down a fair bit and she is trying so hard to save MAINLY for shares in the stock market while they are low for her retirement or if she gets sick and cant work she has money there to live off (not having money to live if she cant work is her biggest fear) That was until Thursday, Pop handed mum a check for $20,000 because he got his inhertence from his aunty that past earlier in the year who I hear is rather wealthy ( I dont know her, she lived in england with the rest of the family) she didnt have kids of her own so she gave her brothers and sisters kids her money. Then pop handed down a share of money to his two kids (mum n my uncle) Well mum was over the moon she cried cause now she can buy those stocks now instead of waiting 6months untill she had saved it and also after 11yrs buy herself a new car, which she needs and because we both believe we need a new couch, we went and bought one, because most of our furnature is atleast 11yrs old (when we left dad, she left everything with him and re-bought it all herself) so apart from a few things most of the furnature is 11yrs old. So now with out the stress of saving and hoping something doesnt go wrong mum has finally bought the things she has been needed for a few years now and I am so happy for her and our new couch (cant have it delivered untill the new year 🙁 is beautiful its one of those corner lounges its squisky and comfy just like ours used to be when we first got it, I love it!!! OH and I got an air conditioner finally lol

AND we have breaking news in my other family… well in the emails grandad kept sending me he constantly hinted that in our "meeting" he/they dont want mum there, so I had enough and wrote back "Im getting the impression you dont want my mum to be there?"  then I get back "Jesus, that was a bit blunt wasnt it, maybe you have more of me in you than I thought" WHICH is bullshit, yeah he might be blunt and upfront because of the airforce but he never was to his grandkids, he was a big soft cuddly bear, I never saw him get angry and your not born with it you leanr it, and I learnt it from my mum, who IS very blunt and straight forward at time, so that annoyed me abit. But he still didnt answer my question but he implied that if mum were there the "meeting" will be hostile towards him n nanna (probably thinking mum is angry at them for some reason and think they are the only reason why we uped and left  everyone and everything) which is far from true we were going  to leave anyway and mum is not angry at them. So i set them straight by saying no mum isnt angry I have things to get off my chest and i need to talk mum is purely there for support thats it. Then I get an email saying that he isnt going to write any more incase he makes things worse, so something they have thought for the past 5yrs is nothing compared to the reality, and Mum n I think it has scared them a bit.

Then the next thing, I went to the doctor to see what she can do for my anxiety, she has refered me to a quack and even though im kinda against putting pills into my body I also mainly live by "Ill try anything once" so she said ok and gave me a low dose of Lyxapro? (spelling) I havnt taken them yet because she and others have said it takes a few weeks to get used to them and it can kinda bring you down before your bought back up again, and being christmas and new years I dont want to be feelin down and tired and I want to be able to drink and all that wonderfull stuff lol and also I have arranged to meet nanna n grandad in the second week of January, I want to be alert and not feeling down or tired, So i have decided to start taking them mid January when if i do feel those things, I can, cause right now there are things going on that I want to do and i dont want to miss, where as after its all over i can afford to miss a few things if need be. So my question is, what was your experience with Lyxapro for the first few weeks and do you think b y putting it off till mid next month could be the right thing to do at the moment?



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