Birth
I was born to an unmarried 20 year old woman, a bastard in every right. My mom was treated as nothing better then a teenage pregnant accident which I was quite the opposite. I was a planned baby. My mom had wanted a baby but didn’t want to have the conditions of my father HAVING to marry her purely out of the birth of me. She told him to wait till I was born to decide if he did want to be married to her.
I put my mother through hell beginning April 11th, 1985. She was in labor for more then 24 hours for me. I wasn’t budging though. I was crammed up under my mom’s ribs knowing that the world possessed such trials and heartache, maybe. The doctor then came in and began pushing down between my and my moms ribcage; trying to push me closer to the birth canal. After I’d moved further down they decided to use forceps to pull me out. He put his foot up on the hospital bed to get leverage as he yanked on me. Meanwhile I’d started face down coming out and midway I turned face up. I came out with a broken nose and covered in blood. During the whole birth my mom was repeatedly told not to yell and had her face covered with some sort of fabric. After I was out and whisked away to god knows where and for them to fix my broken nose my mom laid in the hospital bed. No one knew she was hemorrhaging until she had lost almost all of her blood. She didn’t get to see me for days because she was unconscious.
I believe that your birth can set the groundwork for your life and if that is the case then I think my birth pretty much sums up why I’ve got so many issues mentally and emotionally. I’m writing this because mainly I’d like to know if others had traumatic birth experiences.
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Im not saying that just tramatic births are what cause it but how the mother's state of emotional, physical and mental being is. We are still connected to our mothers as we exit her. We have a connection that is stronger then most know or want to accept. I think that alot of how you are brought into the world can affect you .. lay's the pavement for how you start your life. They say that water births, low light, low friction and low noise can be a calming and soothing way to enter the world. Babies don't scream and cry upon being able to breathe and are able to be with their mothers directly after exiting the womb. There are no bright lights, suctioning of the nose and mouth, no rough towels cleaning off the fluids (which can be beneficial the skin). I know this is purely my own opinion but I think if we opend our mind a little and learned a bit about our entry to the world and how our mothers were treated, how they felt (were they stressed, anxious, scared, etc) it can possible give more insight to what set us on this road for anxiety. I am not saying that the rest of our lives, other things in our lives created these issues and mental states but I dont think anyones delved deeply into their birth experiance to see if that is something that could be hardwiring us for stresses and anxieties.