What has CeruleanKisses been up to?

I've been sick.  The last few days have truly sucked. 

I've been talking on the phone with someone… which is good and bad.  I keep thinking about the ex-friend from last year.  I like talking on the phone to this current person… it's alot more comfortable than the other one ever was… but it's still just an oddity.  Hours upon hours of phone time and I only started talking to him on the phone in the last week. 

He's a nice guy, but I'm still weary as hell of him and his intentions.  I'm trying to give him a fair shot.  We'll see I suppose.

The ex friend of last fall got in touch with me and threw out the depression and needing to find himself card.  My feeling is that when you tell someone your greatest fear… they shouldn't prove your fear right.  He pissed me off and I told him as much.  I told him he fucked with my head and I wanted nothing to do with him.  He hasn't been in contact since… and that was around Valentine's Day.  I guess it's all something to learn from… I just wish that he wouldn't have come up here.  I wish I could have seen him for what he was before getting all upset about it. 

Yeah… I'm boring and anti social here lately.  I have lots to say, just doesn't seem to come out right… Hence all the babbling and rambling above. 

I'm just tired today… and lately really.  I go to bed early, and wake up several times during the morning.  I sit on the phone in the inbetween hours.  I'm just in an odd place right now. 

So… Yep.  This is my blog about not being around.  I feel shitty that I've been ignoring this site.  I really want to be here…  I think I really want to be everywhere… if that makes any sense at all.  I'm just in hiding.

So… sorry.  I'll be back.  I'll check in and such, just taking time to sort it all out in my head. 

1 Comment
  1. prism 15 years ago

    Take your time.It's better to get your mind in the right place than try to force things when you are not ready to deal with whats troubling you inside.

    A blog is not ramblings.They are ways of saying how we feel,even if they do not make much sense to the reader, it makes sense to the writer.

    Find yourself and you will be stronger for it.

    0 kudos

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